Personal Perspectives on Vision Loss with Meredyth Mason
Today I'm talking with Meredyth Mason, a 52-year-old woman living in Jacksonville Beach, Florida, who has retinitis pigmentosa. What makes Meredyth's story particularly compelling is that she wasn't diagnosed until her early thirties, after living what she calls a "quote unquote normal life" - marriage, kids, career - until night driving became difficult and she started noticing missing letters on her computer screen. Her journey took her from a devastating diagnosis with no support or resources offered, through two years of crippling depression, to eventually building a rich, active life that includes entrepreneurship, adaptive sports, traveling on month-long cruises, and navigating the world with her guide dog. Meredyth's perspective on rebuilding life after vision loss, finding your own definition of success, and the difference between being alone and being lonely offers valuable insights for anyone facing major life changes.
Finding Agency After Vision Loss: Lessons from Meredyth Mason
Recently, I had the privilege of speaking with Meredyth Mason for inSight Out, and her story continues to resonate with me days later. What makes Meredyth's experience particularly compelling isn't just her journey with retinitis pigmentosa—it's how she fundamentally redefined what recovery and adaptation look like when facing a life-altering diagnosis.
The Devastating Beginning
Meredyth's story begins like too many others I hear in my practice. At 32, living what she calls a " “normal” life" with a husband, two small children, and a high-level corporate job, she started noticing difficulties with night driving and missing letters on her computer screen. After being shuffled between doctors, she finally received her diagnosis: retinitis pigmentosa, typically the leading cause of blindness in children.
The doctor's delivery was clinical and crushing: "You're going to go blind from this. There's nothing we can do to help you. See you in six months." No resources. No support. No guidance on what came next.
What followed was two years of what Meredyth describes as the deepest depression imaginable. She couldn't function as a spouse, mother, or employee. There were days she simply lay in bed, crying and rocking herself. This is the reality that so many people face when they receive a vision loss diagnosis without adequate support—a reality that needs to change.
The Power of Intentional Choice
What strikes me most about Meredyth's recovery is how intentional it was. She describes literally waking up one day and declaring, "I'm done crying. This is not productive." It wasn't a gradual shift or a passive realization—it was an active decision to reclaim agency over her life.
This moment reflects something I see in my therapy practice: the profound difference between things happening to us and us choosing how to respond. Meredyth chose to stop being a victim of her circumstances and start being the author of her recovery.
One Bite at a Time
When I asked what advice she'd give to someone in that dark place, Meredyth shared the wisdom of "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." This isn't just a cute saying—it's a fundamental reframe about expectations and progress.
Rather than trying to tackle everything at once, Meredyth advocates for radical permission to shrink your goals. Maybe today's victory is taking a shower. Maybe it's brushing your teeth. She talks about making your "plate smaller" and removing non-urgent items when everything feels overwhelming.
This approach resonates because it addresses something crucial that generic "think positive" advice misses: it gives concrete, achievable steps while acknowledging that traditional expectations might be temporarily impossible.
Redefining Isolation and Connection
One of the most insightful parts of our conversation centered on Meredyth's distinction between being alone and being lonely. After her diagnosis, she shifted from being a "super extrovert" to what she calls an "ambivert"—someone who draws energy both from others and from within.
She learned to sit with herself without distractions—no social media, no television, just her own thoughts. This wasn't isolation; it was deep self-engagement. She describes it as "scrolling through your own life's achievements, the things you've accomplished, the people who love you."
This challenges our cultural narrative that being alone equals being isolated. Meredyth found that true connection with others became possible only after she developed a genuine relationship with herself.
Building Practical Independence
The practical aspects of Meredyth's journey are equally important. She eventually connected with Division of Blind Services, learned to use a white cane (after leaving it in a corner for months), and eventually got a guide dog from Leader Dogs for the Blind. Her guide dog didn't just provide navigation—it gave her confidence to return to activities she loved, from golf to month-long cruises.
She also became an entrepreneur, starting her own consulting business after retiring early from corporate America. This path allowed her to control her environment and work around her vision loss without asking for accommodations from employers.
The Danger of Other People's Expectations
Perhaps Meredyth's most powerful message is about rejecting other people's definitions of success. She emphasizes not worrying about what parents, spouses, or society expect from you. Instead, she advocates for putting "in front of you things that you can achieve" based on your own values and circumstances.
This doesn't mean lowering standards—it means setting your own standards. Meredyth lives an incredibly active, fulfilling life, but it's the life she chose to build, not one imposed by external expectations.
The Ripple Effect of Support
Throughout our conversation, Meredyth emphasized how crucial community support has been. From her brother who became her rock during the darkest period, to the network of other blind and low vision people who shared resources and encouragement, she highlights how we can lift each other up.
Her message to our community is clear: "We're all here to help each other. We're all here to provide love, support, kindness, decency, respect, courtesy." She's created a life where she's available to others navigating similar challenges, understanding that community support can literally be life-saving.
Moving Forward
Meredyth's story isn't about inspiration porn or overcoming disability—it's about the very human process of adaptation, choice, and growth. She's clear that she's "not a different person" but rather the same person living differently. Her vision loss became an addition to her identity, not a replacement of it.
For those facing similar diagnoses, her story offers both hope and practical guidance. The path isn't easy, and it's not the same for everyone, but it is possible to build a rich, meaningful life that reflects your own values and desires.
Most importantly, Meredyth reminds us that seeking help—whether it's a white cane, a guide dog, vocational rehabilitation, or therapy—isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength and an investment in our own future.
The conversation with Meredyth reinforced something I see in my practice every day: recovery and adaptation aren't destinations but ongoing processes. They require both self-compassion and intentional action, both individual strength and community support.
If you're struggling with vision loss or any major life change, I hope Meredyth's story offers you permission to define success on your own terms, to take things one step at a time, and to remember that seeking support is an act of courage, not defeat.
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Meredyth Mason shares her journey from receiving a devastating retinitis pigmentosa diagnosis at 32 with no resources or support, through two years of crippling depression, to rebuilding an active, entrepreneurial life with her guide dog. Diagnosed later in life after experiencing night driving difficulties and missing letters on computer screens, Meredyth discusses the complete lack of medical support she received and how she eventually climbed out of depression by taking agency over her recovery one small step at a time. She explores the difference between being alone and being lonely, the importance of removing toxic influences from life, and how she transitioned from corporate employee to successful entrepreneur. Meredyth also covers her experience with Division of Blind Services, learning to use a white cane, getting a guide dog from Leader Dogs for the Blind, and returning to activities like golf and trap shooting through adaptive sports. Her message centers on defining success on your own terms rather than living up to others' expectations, and building a supportive community within the vision loss world.
Topics covered: retinitis pigmentosa, late diagnosis, depression recovery, entrepreneurship with vision loss, guide dogs, white cane training, Division of Blind Services, adaptive sports, food security, self-care, agency, mental health, isolation vs solitude, toxic relationships, vocational rehabilitation, assistive technology, independent living, travel with vision loss
ABOUT THE PODCAST
inSight Out is your podcast home for living well with vision loss. Host Matthew Reeves (LPC CRC NCC) is a legally-blind psychotherapist and rehabilitation counselor specializing in helping people thrive while living with disability. Matthew is licensed in Georgia and is a nationally certified rehabilitation counselor.
Please be sure to subscribe to catch every episode. And remember to share the show with others in the blind and low-vision community!
CONNECT WITH US
Podcast Home: https://insightoutpod.com
Talk to Us: https://speakpipe.com/insightoutpod
Email: mailto:insightoutpod@integralmhs.com
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Social Media Handle: @insightoutpod
©Integral Mental Health Services, LLC
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The following transcript is AI generated and likely contains errors.
COLD OPEN
[00:00:00]
Meredyth Mason: Being blind is, I use the word complicated, right? Some people "struggle" with it. Other people, it's a minor inconvenience. Everybody views it differently and not to be punny, but everybody views it differently. It's a perspective, right? We live life with expectation of society, and whjat I try to encourage people to say is, don't worry what other people think. Worry about what you think Put in front of you things that you can achieve. Don't worry about who set the bar for you. Don't worry about, you know, what my parents want me to do this, or my husband or wife wants me to do this. Done't wOrry about what other people want you to do. Make a decision for yourself.
INTRO
Matthew Reeves: You're listening to Insight Out a podcast about living well with low vision. [00:01:00] Maybe you're feeling confused, scared, isolated, or disheartened about a recent vision loss diagnosis, or maybe you've been managing your vision loss for a while and now you want to hear from others about how to continue growing and thriving. Insight Out is your supportive space to find healthy and impactful tools to build and maintain a truly rich and gratifying life with low or no vision.
I'm Matthew Reeves. I'm a legally blind psychotherapist and rehabilitation counselor. I specialize in helping people adjust to disability through my practice, integral Mental Health Services in Atlanta, Georgia. I'm really glad you're listening.
Please subscribe so you don't miss an episode, and let others in the low vision community know about the podcast so the word can spread to those who might find it helpful. And now on with today's discussion.
TOPIC INTRO
Alex: this is placeholder for generic voiceover.
INTERVIEW
Matthew Reeves: Thanks Meredith for being here. I'm [00:02:00] excited to talk to you about your personal perspectives on vision loss and your story. Um, so I will, why don't we just jump right into it. If you could give us a sense of, of, uh, your vision condition and the story of how you got diagnosed and kind of your timeline.
I find that's really useful to kind of set that context and then we can get into, uh, the details of your story in a bit.
great.
Meredyth Mason: Great.
happy to be here, Matthew. Thank you for the invitation. Hey everybody, my name's Meredith Mason. Um, I'm a 52-year-old woman. I live in Jacksonville Beach, Florida. So my vision journey is super interesting. It's, it's quite different than a lot of people's, uh, who have retinitis pigmentosa, which is the diagnosis that I have. Retinitis pigment actually, uh, the leading cause of blindness in children. However, I didn't get diagnosed until I was in my early thirties. I was living that quote unquote, normal life, right? You go to school, you meet someone, you get married, you get the job, you have the [00:03:00] kids, you know, you do all that cool, fun, quote, unquote, like I said, regular stuff. And then I started noticing some strange. driving at night. Uh, that was kind of the start of it, right? Like in my late twenties, I was like, wow, I almost hit that trash can or, Hmm, I missed the driveway. And that was the beginning of it, right? That was the first thing I noticed. Then as I was working like many people, you know, use the computer a lot, I started noticing in words, letters were missing. And I was like, oh no, what is that? So I called my mom and I said, mom, something's up. She says, maybe you have a retinal detachment. You need to go to the doctor immediately. Okay. to the doctor
you know, they said they didn't really see anything and I said, well, something's going on there. I actually moved from Florida to Georgia Oh, okay.
I, I actually was probably your neighbor by the way. Uh, this is, like I said, 20 something years ago, or [00:04:00] actually, yeah, 20 something years ago. And I went to a new doctor and I shared with him the same symptoms. So he looked into my eyes and he says, Hmm, I think I see something in there. I'm like, what is it? like, I think you have a cataract. said, wait, I'm 32 years old. Why would I have cataracts? Like, you know, not to be pun funny, whatever cataracts are for old people, right, right.
3-year-old with cataracts. He says, yeah, you have a small cataract. He says, I'm gonna refer you to Emory University. And I was like, oh, great. Okay. They're one of the best hospitals in the world. Cool. go to Emory. I meet with actually a doctor who was the front of the eye, right? Corneal specialist, not a retinal specialist. he's looking in there. And he's looking a little longer than I was comfortable with. And I was like, Hmm, something's up.
'cause nobody looks for like five minutes Right, right. That's, that's worrying
like too long. And he is like, okay, I don't know how to tell you this, but I see these [00:05:00] black pigments on your retina. though he is a corneal specialist, he's looking at the entire eye of course. right. I said, what is that? says, I'm pretty sure it's a condition called retinitis pigmentosa. I said again, I, I'm 32 years old. Never heard of that in my entire life. And my entire family issues. We all have, you know, the, the nearsightedness and the glaucoma and the pretty traditional eye issues. And he said to me exactly what I started the podcast with.
It is the leading cause of blindness in children. And then again, I'm confused. I'm like, I'm 32 years old. I'm certainly not a child anymore. He says, well, sometimes it can manifest later in life. I said, okay. Then he says, but you're gonna go blind from this. And I just lost it, started crying. I was Sure.
you know, having a And I was like, oh my goodness. So anyway, he says, I'm gonna refer you to the retinal specialist here at Emory, we're gonna send you home and we'll get that appointment going. That appointment was three weeks later. I was like, you [00:06:00] can't leave me in this three week window of not knowing this terrible diagnosis. He says, we can't get you in any sooner. I was like, oh, I was so devastated. So anyway, called my husband. I cry to him. I call my mother. I cry to her. I get home. I wait that three weeks, that was the worst three weeks of my life. I go back to Emory and the retinal specialist, she confirmed I had retinitis pigmentosa. Ooh. Right. The worst news you ever heard in your life that someone Yeah, you're going to go There's nothing that we can do to help you, and we'll see you back in six months. So that was kind of the at that point.
Matthew Reeves: that point, were any. Resources offered at, at, at any level, or was it just sort of, I mean, that story that I, that keeps coming up and, and as I talk to people and in my own practice, like, it's that story of, here you go, here's the life-changing diagnosis. See you in a year and that's all you get.
Uh, did you get any, did [00:07:00] did this. Yeah. Nothing.
How did you,
Meredyth Mason: me
Matthew Reeves: ah. oh, go
Uh, how did you handle that, uh, that complete lack of support in that moment? What was, what happened for you?
Meredyth Mason: I fell into the deepest depression you can imagine. Again, I'm 32 years old. I'm a wife. I'm a mom to two very small children, three and a half and 18 months at the time, and I had this full-time, really high level job and ugh, couldn't do anything. I couldn't be a spouse. I couldn't take care of my children.
I couldn't take care of myself. There were days I just laid in the bed and cried and rocked and, and sobbed and everything that you could think of that was like the biggest blow of your entire life. So it was pretty terrible.
Matthew Reeves: I'm sorry you went through that.
how clearly something's changed between then and now? 'cause you're not, you're not in that place anymore, I can tell. What, what was, how, how long did [00:08:00] that last and how did you climb out of that?
Meredyth Mason: say it took about two years. And I know that sounds like forever. It felt like forever, by the way. And again, Yeah.
am very I am a very force of, I'm like a force of nature, right? People tell me all the time, I'm smart, I'm resourceful, I'm a go-getter. I'm like a tiger, right? But at that time, I felt none of those things. I don't know, like one day I just snapped out of it. It's kinda like the weirdest thing to say, but literally I just woke up one day and said, I'm done crying. This is not, this is not productive. So Oh, let me ask, I wanna ask a question about that. The and, and this, and I'm, I'm going to see if I can figure out how to phrase this question. 'cause it's subtle. I'm curious about did that change, did you just discover that? Your mindset had shifted and you ran with [00:09:00] it, or was that a conscious decision to say, okay, I am going to decide now that this is the day that something's different.
Matthew Reeves: Was it, was it intentional or did you feel, did it feel more passive?
Meredyth Mason: I think it was intentional, honestly, like I'm kind of funny about decisions in my life. I'll sometimes stew on something for days or weeks or months and then all of a sudden a day happens and I go, today's the day, let's go. So I Wow.
intentional and I never look back when I make a decision, I'm confident with that decision and I just go forward.
Matthew Reeves: I hear that. And what strikes me is how you went from a place of feeling like you had. Uh, no resources, no motivation, no agency, no, no capacity to even be yourself, much less a wife or a mother or any like, but, and then you made a choice. You've claimed agency, [00:10:00] you demanded agency, and it started from within.
That, that was the change of everything. And you got your, your, the lion got her claw back.
Meredyth Mason: Yeah. I That's remarkable.
you. Part of it was the love of family. I Hmm. gonna lie and say that there support. Support wasn't local though. There wasn't like a a mom or a sibling or something like that nearby. Everybody lived far away. But what I did was, like you said, I took agency because I'm a full believer that my father is the source of my motivation.
Unfortunately, he's passed away a long time ago, but I carry him with me. I look in the mirror and I see him looking back at me, and it Hmm.
with my dad himself was suffering with Parkinson's disease. He was living with a very debilitating disease, and I said to myself, if my dad can live with a disease that is slowly killing him, this is not killing me. [00:11:00] RP does not kill you. RP causes you to have to change your life and do things a little differently, and to see that man push as hard as he did pushed me to push harder.
Matthew Reeves: A lot of people may be listening to this, or maybe just one person is listening to this and they're thinking, part one. I don't have that model in my life. Like, I don't have that dad. I, I, I haven't, I've never experienced anything like this. No one, no one around me has experienced anything like this. I don't, I don't have that.
And secondly, it is impossible. Probably for you during that early stage of depression too. I don't wanna put words in your mouth, but I would imagine for a lot of us, the idea of, of a condition like, like yours or mine, requiring a little change doesn't make sense, right? It feels like it does feel like the end of the world.
feel like the end of life, the end of every opportunity. So my [00:12:00] question to you, given those two things, like you're on the other side of it, and you did have that model. What if you were that voice? And right now you kind of are, you have that opportunity and so do I and that's a privilege. Um, what, what do you want that voice to say to that person who's in that, that place of despair?
Meredyth Mason: Yeah, I mean, I try to boil things down to the least common denominator. Okay. I could go off and do this whole big tangent about how to do all that, but there's a little piece of advice I was once offered a very long time ago, what's that?
a how do you eat an elephant? Okay. How do you eat an elephant? Yeah. And One bite at a time. Yeah.
Matthew Reeves: Is your voice? What do you want your voice to say to them? What do you want that person to hear?
Meredyth Mason: And again, I, I know it is life changing. I know for some people you have to change everything. the [00:13:00] best part. I got this great advice a long time ago from someone who said, it's a simple question. How do you eat an elephant? Kind of funny little thing. Ha ha ha. How do you eat an elephant? bite at a time, right? And I know it's, it's, again, it's the least common denominator, but it's food for thought. It's very introspective. know, we, we think we have to tackle everything every day. In all honesty, you only have to accomplish one thing in the entire day to have it be a good day. just get up and take a shower. You've accomplished something that day. you can get up and Yeah.
you've that, that day, right? I think we, we try to say, I have to do these 10 things and call these 10 people and check all my emails and get on Facebook. We, we put ourselves into this flurry of activity that honestly doesn't need to happen. The reason why I went into the Deep Depression for the two years was because I had so much on my plate. And there was [00:14:00] nobody to help me take stuff off that plate. then you just drop the plate and it crashes and smashes. what you do is you make the plate smaller and you take things off the plate that aren't urgent.
Obviously, taking care of children is a priority. They can't fend for themselves. Right.
things. Again, like it's not as simple as people think it is. When you're in a deep depression, hygiene's one of the first things that goes. right. I. you can just literally, make a list to say, I'm going to get up, I'm going to brush my teeth, I'm going to take a shower, I'm going to put on clean clothes. Again, these are these little elephant bites of progress. that's my advice there.
Matthew Reeves: Yeah, I, I'm struck by the, how you put that, you know, we hear so often. Just focus on the positive, just be positive. And that advice can be very frustrating, right? Because if you're facing something that feels like the end of the world, like what, what are you positive are you gonna focus on? And I like how your advice [00:15:00] kind of puts some tangible feet, something concrete on the I.
So you can, you can accomplish one thing that's good for you. Uh, even just identifying one thing that's good for you and then maybe accomplishing it. That's, that is the positive thing you can focus on. Like, it takes the abstract, it makes it concrete. Maybe the positive thing to focus on is brushing your teeth, uh, and, and, and giving yourself permission to change the expectations, uh, that, that are.
They are handed to us from society and culture and family, and even our own minds, uh, that those expectations are that you're gonna live a life that looks a certain way. But right now, that may be impossible. That may be just too big of a too heavy of a lift. So you're going to the mental gym and you're building a muscle, and the exercise you're doing right now is to not just brush your teeth, but to give yourself some credit for brushing your teeth.
That's, that's powerful to me.
Meredyth Mason: [00:16:00] Yes. And then if you can make progress the next day and add one more thing, great. And you know what? If the next day isn't good and you didn't brush your teeth. Again, that's okay. Like Yeah. you have to give to have good days and bad days, or just neutral days, right? Not every day is gonna be bad or good.
Maybe it's just okay. And you know what? Okay. Is good enough.
Matthew Reeves: So what are the, what are some other areas in your life as you were building those mental muscles, uh, and going from a place of utter despair to where you are now? Like clearly you learned how to lift a lot like metaphorical weight there. Um, and now you're, now you feel and seem really strong. What, so one area is hygiene.
That makes a lot of sense that that's a, that's a starting point for a lot of folks. What are some other areas where you started to say, okay, maybe the new task today is in this area or that area? What are the other areas that are, were important to you?[00:17:00]
I.
Meredyth Mason: So again, to keep right? Because if you don't take care of you first, you can't take care of anything else, right? This is kind of like a new mom thing that I learned when I had my kids 20 something years ago, is if you focus only on the children, guess what? You suffer. the the relationship you have suffers, right?
So you gotta focus on you, you are the priority. So what I started to do was I did, I focused on what was gonna make me my best. So obviously the hygiene is a big, big factor for people with low vision and blindness. have food insecurity. I don't think people realize that, right? So think about how easy it is to jump in your car, drive to the grocery store, buy those items, get home. Prep 'em, cook 'em, eat 'em, clean up after them, store them, et cetera, right? what? As a blind person, almost all of that doesn't happen, right? So Yeah.
Matthew Reeves: Yeah. my
Meredyth Mason: [00:18:00] body and my mind, in addition to taking care of my body and my mind became kind of priority. Number two, am I going to get to the grocery store? How am I going to shop? am I going to get all that stuff home and again, prep it and, and put it away and all that. let me tell you, that was an exercise, right? Yeah. take that for that's their ate three meals a day and it's just, you know. Done. And they go on with their day, like they don't have to think about it. as people with low vision and blindness, have to think about what we're eating, how we're going to eat, when we're going to eat, you know, we're gonna burn the house down, which I've almost done a couple times. So yeah, food and fuel from my body in my mind became number two. Yeah, I, I think that's such an important point. It, it, I, I, I like to hook, I enjoy it. And so I get fed a lot of social media about. You know, cooking, and one of the things that struck me as you were talking [00:19:00] was how, how much emphasis there is in the, in the digital space about giving advice to a broad audience who is struggling with that, with exactly what you're describing.
Matthew Reeves: How do I meal prep? How do I figure out what I'm gonna cook? How do I. Not spend all week just figuring out food. If food is important to me, and it should be important to us, it's our fuel. And you're saying like, if it's hard for everybody else, imagine how much harder it is for the people who are listening to this podcast who can't just jump in the car, who can't just read a label, who can't just grab the thing on the shelf at the grocery store without thinking about it, saying, oh, that's what I need, that's what I'm gonna get.
That's what I'm gonna pay for. I'm done. And, and then like there's a thousand. Decision points and a thousand problems to solve just in the simple act of grocery shopping. Uh, and that was, and that was before the days of touchscreen kiosks where you have to check out, [00:20:00] like
they, they just, I, I ate 'em too, that they're terrible.
Uh, so yeah, to your, to your point, like, such an important thing is so daunting. Um, and so I like that you're saying that's not one task that's an entire. Domain of tasks with a thousand questions in it, and we can once again give ourselves permission to solve one of those problems at a time
so it's not so overwhelming.
Meredyth Mason: Chinese takeout, awesome. Right? Or if you order pizza, great. Right? But these shouldn't be your every day. of friends of mine in the blind community, you know, will sit there and pop a bag of popcorn. And that was dinner, 'cause it was easy. Uh, you're not cooking anything, so there's no safety issues.
Again, you're not worried about burning yourself, cutting yourself. Right. You can't measure something properly unless maybe you have a measuring cup that speaks to you. So yeah, food is definitely number two. I would tell you the next one for me was [00:21:00] meaning anything that's not great for you, whether it's alcohol, drugs, smoking, you know, kind of inappropriate behaviors and sitting down and talking to myself and saying, what are the things that I do that are not good for me? And also what are the things that I do that are not good for my eyes, right? Because my doctor at the time told me that our eyes are a reflection of our health. if our health is not good, our eyes are not good. And the last thing I Yeah.
was make matters I wanted to keep my eyes as healthy as possible. Right. went back to I had given up sports and exercising, you know, for years. 'cause again, you're busy with family and, and you kids and work and this and that, and you stop doing what's best for you. So, yeah, the gym or like walking the dog or just getting outside and moving my body, enjoying the sunshine. And then I really never did the vice thing. I never smoked or drank, and I know a lot of, a lot of Americans do those things as well as [00:22:00] caffeine. I don't do that either. So I removed anything that was a toxin to my body to again, try to treat my body like a temple.
Matthew Reeves: Yeah, and, and that can apply. I think that idea can apply. Uh, in the same way, but in other areas as well. Like, what, what are the toxins in my life? What are the toxins in terms of what am I watching on television? What am I watching on social media? What am I watching? Uh, how, how am I spending my day? What am I taking in?
What are my relationships like? Who am I spending time with? Are these people healthy and nourishing to me or. Do I just find myself angry and sad every time I hang out with this person? Like, maybe, maybe that's, maybe that's my vice. Maybe these, maybe there are certain relationships that are a vice. Um, and I, you know, I'll tell you as a therapist, I love hearing what you're saying about just moving, moving and being outside is such a protective and nourishing thing for our mental health as well as our physical health.
So that's, I think that's so important. [00:23:00] Um. Yeah, and the relationships too. I, I can't think of any one thing that's more important for our mental health than our genuine, authentic connection with other people. Um, and that, and a blinding disorder can have profound effects on our ability to be with people.
Um, and I'm curious, you said earlier that. Your close relationships, your support network was all at a distance. Um, did, did, did these efforts to climb out of depression, did that have for you, involve finding local supports and building a, a new kind of, uh, support network that looked a little different than it did before?
Meredyth Mason: So I'm a little interesting about support. Um, I'm kind of private about a lot of things. Hmm. get on social really and talk about what's going on my, in my life. Uh, my friend network is very small. I could probably count my closest friends on one [00:24:00] hand. I. Honestly, the relationship that I developed, which was always good, it went from good to skyrocketing, fabulous was my brother. Oh wow.
best he is the human. So just to tell everybody who's listening. So I got divorced through this process too, by the way. So I was diagnosed in 2006, and it really rocked my marriage. Um, there was some other things obviously going on and marriage is difficult and if you don't work at it, another thing, right, that is sort of a victim of low vision is if you don't continue to work on it and you're depressed and angry and sad and everything else, your spouse takes that all in. it, it just wasn't good and it didn't work out. So not only did I not have the support of, uh, a spouse anymore, you know, like I said, friends were far away. Other family was far away. I just dug in. I picked one person in my life loves me unconditionally if there is unconditional love with humans, and would listen [00:25:00] would be there for me. We started calling each other like half a dozen times a day, Wow.
could, could Or it could be for 20 minutes or two hours or whatever. was there, he, he was literally my rock, my foundation. again, it doesn't have to necessarily be a whole pile of people. Now there's people out there that I know that are involved in their church or they go to support groups Sure. meetups,
a whole lot of things that other people do. For me, I'm great one-on-one. I love that one special relationship. Now, I've broadened out since then, of course, but that's what got me through so much. I mean so, so much. And he Yeah. me, he but he was there for my kids. I mean, he really did everything and more
Matthew Reeves: You know, you what, as you described that it's a reflection of what you said earlier that you didn't try to build. A big support network all [00:26:00] at one time. You ate the elephant one bite at a time. You found one relationship that became very important and I, I would imagine you haven't said this, but I'm, I don't wanna put words in your mouth, but I imagine building that relationship gave you something, energy, confidence, some asset that helped you build the second relationship, which helped you build the third relationship.
And I'd love for you to hear your thoughts on that.
Meredyth Mason: Yeah, it, it fostered the confidence, right? 'cause one of the things that happens with diagnosis is not only are we sad and angry and all those other emotions, but we're also lacking confidence. am not Yeah.
Matthew Reeves: Yeah. Right?
Meredyth Mason: how do you rebuild that and be somebody else knowing that you're still the same person? maybe you take on a slightly different persona. Yeah. my
I are very different. I'm a super extrovert, he's a super introvert. But what I've learned through my relationship with him is I'm not really a super extrovert anymore. I'm [00:27:00] sort of an ambivert, which Yeah. hybrid,
right? become slightly more isolated because of my situation. Um, I'm actually okay with that. Because with low vision and blindness, we get exhausted quicker, Mm-hmm. There's so much that's put into just basic tasks where I used to be out partying and, and going out to the clubs and dancing and having fun in my youth. I mean, I'll still go out. But I'm not out after 10 o'clock. Um, I find my, my quiet time and my quiet space is actually very enjoyable. And this is another piece of advice for people listening. We have to love ourselves and be comfortable with our own company. This is something that extroverts don't typically do. We need the energy from other people for us to be good. introverts, again, turn inward and look for the energy from within. being an ambivert. Or moving to ambivert. I had to learn to be [00:28:00] comfortable with me, that also was a process, and that was introspection that was sitting at home by myself.
No distractions, no, like you said, scrolling on Facebook or whatever, or watching TV or listening to music. It was literally just sitting with my thoughts and being happy with that.
Matthew Reeves: You know, you're prompting a thought and that is like, what is the definition of isolation? Because we're using the, that word isolation in, in that you don't spend a lot of. Hours, you know, chronological time in the physical presence of other people. But the energy I'm picking up from you and what I hear you describing doesn't sound like isolation.
What it sounds like is you are deeply connected with yourself, uh, and you're very comfortable with yourself, which I think isolation when it's paired with depression, and it almost always is. It, it is a sense of disconnection from oneself and a sense that, uh, I need [00:29:00] to move into activities or behaviors that are numbing and disconnecting, whether that's sleep or substances or video games or whatever.
But it's, it's a, it's a fundamental disconnection with oneself and that, and you're describing a deep engagement with yourself, even if it. Doesn't, doesn't involve physical presence in the same room with other people by a, by a large quantity. I don't think that's the definition of isolation.
I, I, I think to, I'm, I'm grateful that you prompted that idea.
Meredyth Mason: We're so used to stimuli, right? We've turned into a, a society of entertainment and again, this excessive stimuli, and it's so amazing if you just literally sit back and remove all the stimuli for a moment. of the things I talk to people about is the difference between lonely and alone, Oh yeah.
of stimulation, are lonely. this is when, again, the engagement starts happening. I'm sitting in my room by myself and there's nothing going on. Let me get [00:30:00] on, you know, Instagram or let me, you know, get on a chat room or whatever. It's like, no, no. Why don't you chat with yourself? Why don't you scroll through your own life's achievements, the things you've accomplished, the people who love you, things that you've done with your life, and, and really think about that. Yeah. And that,
from, You can yeah. Yes, yes. Nothing wrong with alone. Yeah. And I, I like, like, even like, I think for some people it can sound, that can sound a little woowoo, it can sound a little daunting. Like, what I, what do you want me to do? Meditate? Like, I'm not, you know, I'm not a monk or whatever. But I would encourage people to think like.
Matthew Reeves: Listen to your favorite song, and then notice what that song does for you. Notice why it's your favorite. Just ask some questions about why I'm connected to this song, why I like this book, right? Why, you know, and, and that is engagement with oneself. And if you're doing that, you don't have to be lonely.
You can be alone without being [00:31:00] lonely. That's fantastic. I love it.
Meredyth Mason: And, and I'll admit it, I'm the first one to get on my phone and, and look at something or text somebody. you 24 7. You have to engage with yourself for some amount of time. And like I said, whether it's your favorite song, heck, when I'm in the shower, I sing. Right? I mean, there, there has to be these joyous moments in life and it's the whole, you know, what's the line, you know, dance like no one's watching. Right, Right, Not only figuratively, but literally Yeah. will dance like
right?
Matthew Reeves: That's great. That's great. So talk to me about, um, career. You said you had a career before the diagnosis and then you had two years of crippling depression. What
there's, there's gotta be a story there. I'd love to hear it.
Meredyth Mason: So a little bit more background on me. So I have a double master's from University of Maryland. I have a MBA in marketing and a master's in management. So again, [00:32:00] the career trajectory was fantastic, right? I had a supportive father who was a CEO of a small company. There was expectations, right?
I mean. When you live a little bit of a privileged life, you wanna maintain privilege. Um, nothing wrong with not living that life, of course, but I was very comfortable, so I worked very hard. I was working for a big Fortune 500 company, and like you said, just took a dive. The depression. Now here's what's interesting.
Even though it was crippling, I still pushed through Hmm. didn't know.
I'm a bit of a private person, or at least I've changed. Now I'm, I'm more public about my situation. But back then, 20 years ago, nobody knew. I actually hid my diagnosis from people for about 10 years because I still had some functional vision. 2006 and 2016. I was still driving. I was still operating as usual is what I called it. It wasn't as usual, by the way. It was a daily task to do the same things while losing vision. Right.
interesting. I [00:33:00] kind of put a plan in place and said to myself, okay. I have a short runway now. This is not the next, so again, I was 32.
So this is not the next 35 years of my life. This is maybe the next five years of my life. So I just hit the gas and I worked like a dog. I worked 18, 20 hours a day, seven days a week. wow.
burn, I could do. 'cause I was worried about money as most. Again, blind and lov, Asian people are. either unemployed, underemployed, don't work at all, because we either choose not to or we can't or whatever. For me, I knew I had the skillset, I knew I had the network and I just pushed. And then, um, in 2012, so six years into diagnosis, I actually retired from corporate America and started my own business. And I find a lot of low vision and blind folks are super entrepreneurial. yes. our own We can control our domain when we can start our own business. don't have to ask for accommodations from anybody.[00:34:00]
I love teaching people to monetize your skill. It Yes. you walk a cookies, clean houses, I, whatever you have as a skill, we all have a skill. You learn how to monetize that skill and then you can support yourself the best that you can. So, but back to your point, so I started my own business. It was consulting of course. 'cause that's what I do for a living. I'm a consultant and I did it for about four more years. Then it got to the point where it was really hard.
Now I'm legally blind according to my doctor, which is less than 20 degrees of vision for my condition, Hmm. and I just I don't think I can do this anymore. It became so exhausting to try to see the computer and, and work on the phone and. just couldn't do it anymore. I actually made the choice to fully retire and I called it a medical retirement.
I didn't just say I retired. 'cause people are like, oh that's great, you're retired. Like no, it was actually due to a medical condition. The the real [00:35:00] issue is I didn't understand that I could get services from division of blind services. I also didn't understand that there was assistive technology or that there were mobility aids. I was unaware. 'cause back to your point about diagnosis back in 2006. I was told about no resources, nothing. I wasn't even told Right. of blind services. So the good news is because I started slowly integrating into the blind community, sort of on the periphery, I started learning from people, oh, what is Division of Blind Services?
Oh, I need to call them. I need to get a computer that works with my situation. And I did. was the first step in sort of getting back into my employment situation. Now I did it really slowly. I just did like a little consulting here and there. It was certainly not a full-time job. So between 2016 when I retired and 20, uh, let's see, when was it?
2018, I actually went to work for a community college in just an administrative role just to. [00:36:00] my mind moving. Get me engaged with other human beings. Right? Get out of the house, and I loved it. I was working with high school kids who were transitioning into either four year university, the community college I worked at, going into the military or going directly into the workforce.
It Okay.
amazing, Helping people. Oh, the best thing in the world is to help other people. Right? Well then COVID hit, and I know nobody wants to talk about COVID, but I'm actually gonna talk about COVID for just a second. Yeah, bring it.
people who don't live a life of disability, COVID was the worst thing in the world.
Right? For someone like myself, and I'm not gonna say it was good, it wasn't good, but it changed society's perspective. And it actually gave blind people and people with low vision opportunities to reintegrate into just regular society. We needed our, our food sent to [00:37:00] us, right? We used DoorDash or Uber Eats or whatever to get our food. Yeah. Yeah.
Matthew Reeves: Yep, yep.
Meredyth Mason: to I. from point A to point
well, so did everybody else, like society changed And like I said, for me it changed for the better. So at that point, I actually left the community college because they shut the doors. Kids were not allowed to come on campus anymore.
My job was now remote. I had to, you know, only be at home. And I said, why am I doing this? Why am I, the whole point of working for me was to engage with other people. And to get outta my house, well now I'm stuck back in the house again. So I actually left the school and I moved back down to Florida. So back where I am right now. Because what was important to me was having accessibility to everything. So where I live, and I know not every blind person or a person with low vision has these opportunities, I can literally walk to the grocery store, the pharmacy, my doctor, a restaurant, a place that has recreation, you name it, I have access to these things.[00:38:00]
And it's wonderful because I was able to position myself there. Again, I How did you,
rural right? And they don't have access to those things.
Matthew Reeves: how did you gain those skills? Was that something you figured out on your own, or you mentioned receiving services, did you? Get resources from somewhere to learn about how to safely navigate and, and, and solve these problems.
Meredyth Mason: Yes, I will give Division A blind services, all the credit in the world that they started my low vision journey for me. Literally, somebody handed me a cane and I said, no, thank you. Right? Uh, an older adult who never had a mobility aid is all of a sudden thrust upon a white cane, and you're like, no, please, I, I don't want that. And the woman said to me, it's not about wanting it, it's about needing it. And, and again, it, it's these moments in our journey where we have to question, who am I? [00:39:00] Where am I going in my life? Who do I wanna be when I grow up? Like so many questions. This goes back to the introspection. She handed me the cane.
I tried to hand it back. She handed it back to me and said, take it home. We'll talk later. Like it was just that acceptance point of even I have to take this thing with me I don't wanna take it with me. And then I left it in the corner for months, by the way, and refused to use it. And I hear that a lot. Yeah,
That one day I just woke up and said, if somebody handed me a tool, think I probably need it, right?
Matthew Reeves: it's, yeah, it, I'm, I'm thinking about the, to link it to what we were talking about before, those getting in touch with yourself. And, and being with yourself, engaging with yourself. And it's like, if this cane is making me feel a way, what is that way? What am I feeling? What is this? Somebody's telling me I need something that I don't want to [00:40:00] need, and yet I need it.
And that is a complicated set of emotions. And then I start thinking like, maybe the question is, am I strong enough? To receive this help. Like I don't think needing a tool makes somebody weak. I think accepting what we need and using it is a sign of strength, not weakness. Uh, and so I, I see. Yeah.
I also wanna just.
It, uh, it empowers in independence and it, and it says, I am not the weak thing to do, not, not to place judgment on it, but would be to not try and to remain paralyzed. Whereas the cane is a thing that the cane is an opportunity to say, well, let me try, let me, I, let me, let me put literally my best foot forward.
Um, and, and. Whatever it may make [00:41:00] other people think about me is irrelevant to my relationship with myself. Yeah.
Uh, also just quick,
Meredyth Mason: ahead.
Matthew Reeves: just a quick plug. Uh, we will have an episode all about Division of Blind Services and Vocational rehabilitation, so that that's early in the podcast. I don't know if it'll be out before or after this interview, but it, it will exist for anybody who wants to learn more about that.
So, uh, so that, so Division Department of Health Services did a lot for you. Orientation, mobility. I imagine like maybe, uh, even, uh, skills for at home perhaps. I know they, they offer that, I don't know if you received that, but like cooking and clothing and shopping and things of that nature and career. You started your own business, which I think is.
A fantastic route for people with any disability, uh, because we're it, we're saying I don't have to live in somebody else's world. I can make my own world in that sense, which I just love. Um, yeah. [00:42:00] So, uh, I think, I think I understand that you're no longer working for your own business, so there must be more to that story.
Meredyth Mason: Actually so it, with everything with me, it's complicated, right? So actually am self-employed. But I do say,
about my employer as if they're actually my employer. I still am my own business, and I see.
business for right? So I have one client, they're a very big company.
I still get to do all the great stuff I did when I was in my twenties and thirties. Again, just a little differently. Yeah. is this that did I accept division of blind services, support for orientation and mobility, as you described with the cane, I did also take vocational rehabilitation.
Which is amazing, which gave me all the tools and resources I needed with assistive technology. I used my phone. Um, the company I actually support, they actually sent me a computer because they have to for their network that is fully accessible. It's got a touch screen, it's got all the magnifiers. I can put all the [00:43:00] screen readers on it if I need that. So that was really amazing. Um, the other part about my independence and my mobility is back in 2022, I applied for a guide dog. And this was also another one of these big moments in life, right? Where take a deep breath and make a decision. Can the cane continue to support my lifestyle? I'm a proficient cane user. However, I wanted more than proficiency. I wanted to continue to do all the things I love to do and not have the frustration of having less vision. I did, and again, all of this is through network of other blind and low vision people, whether it's through division of blind services, referrals, or it's just friends that I've made over the, the last number of years that are just incredible human beings who inspire me every day.
Not because they're inspirational, not because they're, you know, extraordinary. They're just regular people doing regular things, but they've taught me where these resources are. [00:44:00] That's what makes them extraordinary is that they know people who know people who have resources, who have had success because of knowing that those resources exist. yes, I have my guide dog. Uh, she's from Leader Dogs for the Blind. I've had her three years now. And you wanna talk about a life-changing experience if you're gonna lose your vision. I recommend to anybody who is comfortable maintaining a dog. 'cause it is a lot of work to seriously consider having that wonderful companion who gives you independent travel, companionship, and safety.
Matthew Reeves: That's fantastic and that's an opportunity for another plug that we have another episode coming out either shortly before or shortly after this one, all about guide dogs from an expert. So that's, uh. If you're, if, if people are hearing this and wanting to learn more, there's, there will be a resource there as well.
That's great. I love hearing about how that you, the, the almost a graduation from or, or a progression from the [00:45:00] cane to, to the guide dog, uh, what did that open up for you? How did, what did that transition, how did that impact your life?
Meredyth Mason: so to your point, the correlation is as vision lessons, we have to find additional tools, So I got to the point now where the vision's so low. That, like I said, I just, I wasn't comfortable. I, I wasn't feeling safe. I have a, a major road outside where I live and it's four lanes and to cross that street 'cause I need to cross the street to get to certain things. I decided that that was going to be the next step. Right. So, I'm sorry, repeat the question one more time because I think I started to answer it and then I lost track.
Matthew Reeves: When you, when you shifted from the cane to the guide dog, what did that open up for you? What were the, what were the, how did that impact your life?
Meredyth Mason: I went back to the things I loved, and I. is what I really want the
hear me say. I am not a different person. I just live differently. I'm still the [00:46:00] same person I was before Vision Loss. I'm that person and more, right? This is kind of how I describe it. My dog is a plus. So I used to golf. I now golf. I golf with my guide dog. I used to trap shoot, I trap shoot still. I go places and do things that people think. Why would a blind person golf, can you enjoy that? Oh, it's one of the most enjoyable things in the world. shooting. How do you see the clay flying in the air? And oh, by the way, I'm scared of guns.
Well, again, we, we pick and choose the things that we enjoy. It. It doesn't have to be these things. These are my examples. What it did is it gave me the confidence to go back to the things that I loved. And then what I have found is adaptive sports for me is the greatest gift in the world, I can do the things I love, again, with the support of the community, who understands that I have low vision and modifies the activities so that I can be successful. Right. So instead of golfing by [00:47:00] myself, excuse me, I golf with, you know, a caddy who lines me up explains how far the hole is for me. They'll step off there, it's 26 steps, or, you know, the, the pin is, is 300 yards to the left. Right? When you work with people who understand where you are in your life, right?
They meet you where you're at. I always love that line. Please meet me where I'm at. Yeah.
guide that back for me. The guide dog got me out to restaurants. Going to listen to, to music at live concerts, traveling for your listeners. I just got home from a 25 day cruise. I mean, who does that, right?
Like who is confident to get on a cruise ship and spend a month wandering around hoping you find the bathroom, the dining room, the gym, the theater. That dog within one day got me around that ship as if she had lived there for years. that's what that dog gave me. She gave me my life that I [00:48:00] had back plus more.
Matthew Reeves: And it sounds like a lot, a big chunk of that went beyond.
Exactly what the dog is there to do. But the dog's presence gave you a sense of confidence and purpose and accessibility. It, it wasn't about necess, it wasn't always about exactly the skill that the dog brought to the table. Uh, it was about what the dog did for you emotionally.
Meredyth Mason: Yeah. The dog is trained for navigation, right? She's a guide dog. It's a simple task. She does one thing. It's not so simple by the way. If you think about it, walking from point A to point B, whatever that is, whether it's a short distance, a curvy distance downstairs, up an elevator as escalator through an airport to think about what she does for me. Is incredible and she's also a joy for others. So I Yeah. a conference yesterday thousand people and as I was walking through that conference [00:49:00] confidently walking through that conference, by the way, which was dark, loud, congested, people were everywhere. I walked through that crowd so smoothly and the person I was with was pointing out the fact to me that people were smiling, right?
She brings joy to others just with So my. Her presence in my life is wonderful and she also brings joy around me and actually gives me access to people I probably wouldn't ever meet or know. 'cause I have conversations all the time. Oh, tell me about your dog. Where is she from? What does she do for you?
You know, where do you go? Like it, it's a conversation opener. I love that. I love that I meet all sorts of interesting people because my dog is a conversation starter.
Matthew Reeves: You know, just to go back to what you said earlier. In what we were talking about earlier, the life you're describing, the sports, the dog, the cruise, the conference, it is anything but isolated.
It is [00:50:00] anything but isolated.
Meredyth Mason: the time, hustling and bustling and doing this and that and going and going. Some people aren't like that though. Again, I always like to, to remind Mm-hmm.
and others everybody is a hustle bustle. There are lots of people in the world that again, are good with just sitting and reading a book or knitting or you know, like I said, playing video games or whatever it is that people love, but at least do that.
Love the things you do and do them. And have fun doing them. Right. The me?
to knit, there is blind knitting out there, happy to find those resources right for you or help you. I, Yeah.
everybody pick something you love and go do it. And if you can't find how to do it yourself, there's people out there in the community that will help you find to do it.
Matthew Reeves: Yeah. So the message is not, you can build a life that looks like Meredith. The message is you can build a life that looks like whatever you want it to look like.[00:51:00]
Meredyth Mason: Live your life. Don't try to live somebody else's life. Again, don't go on Facebook and see a, a Molly Burke, for example, who, if people don't know her, she's a low vision influencer and Molly's all over the world and writing books and running around with her guide dog and doing this and that. That's Molly's life. You don't need Molly's life. You can live your life and Yeah. Yeah.
your Yeah.
Matthew Reeves: That's fantastic. Well, that sounds like a, an incredible summary message, uh, that I, I don't wanna make space. If there's anything else before we wrap up that you want to communicate or maybe, uh, to summarize your message to our listeners.
Meredyth Mason: Again, being blind is I use the word complicated, right? Some people struggle with it. Other people, it's a minor inconvenience. Everybody views it differently and not to be punny but everybody views it differently. It's a perspective. Right. We live life with expectation of society [00:52:00] and whjat I try to encourage people to say is, don't worry what other people think. Worry about what you think put in front of you things that you can achieve. Don't worry about who set the bar for you. Don't worry about, you know what, my parents want me to do this, or My husband or wife wants me to do this. Done't worry about what other people want you to do. Make a decision for yourself. Now, if you can't make decisions on your own, obviously you can engage someone, but make sure that person is a trusted advisor who sort of doesn't put their influence on you, right? They're an unbiased voice and they just get out of you where you wanna go with your life.
And if you're like me and you're that, again, crazy hustle bustle, let's go and have fun and get out there and do things great. I couldn't be happier for you. And if you're the person, like I said, who just wants to chill and hang out and, and enjoy life, whatever that means to you, great. But just remember, here for you. There are tons of other resources out there for you. [00:53:00] Connect with me. I'll give Matthew, you know, my contact information. If you wanna reach out to me, I'm available all the time. Any mechanism, email, text message, Facebook, whatever. We're all here to help each other. We're all here to provide love, support, kindness, decency, respect, courtesy.
Any words or things that are missing in society today, let's bring those back to each other. Let's be one big happy family. Let's, let's be, you know, humane and, and, and be a, a driving force of again, love, kindness and yeah, let's make low vision not even a thing. Let's just remove that. It doesn't matter if you can't see. Let's just keep going. the right direction yeah, that, that's my, that's my best advice. Let's That's. let's, uh, each other.
Matthew Reeves: That's so nourishing. We talked about toxicity earlier, but the message you're sending out is so nourishing. So thank you for that. I really appreciate it and thank, thank you for your time.
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OUTRO
Matthew Reeves: Thanks for joining us for this episode of Insight Out. You are the reason this podcast exists and we'd love to hear from you. You can leave us a voice message at speakpipe.com/insightoutpod. That's speakpipe.com/insightoutpod. There, you can share your thoughts about today's conversation, suggest a topic for a future episode, or tell us about your experience living with vision loss. Again, that's speakpipe.com/insightoutpod.
Insight Out is produced by Integral Mental Health Services, my private practice in Atlanta, Georgia that offers psychotherapy for adults in Georgia and chronic illness and disability counseling nationwide. Visit us at integralmhs.com and you can [00:55:00] visit insightoutpod.com to catch up on all the episodes. You can also find us on social media using the handle @insightoutpod. I hope you'll join me for the next episode of Insight Out. Subscribe now in your favorite podcast app to stay connected. Thanks again for listening.