025 Pursuing the Paralympics with Graham Rainsby
Today's guest lost most of his vision within a single year to Stargardt's disease, and instead of asking the world to slow down for him, he found ways to keep chasing the goals he'd already set. Graham Rainsby ran competitively through high school and college, where a knee injury ended his running career just as he was hitting his stride. Two and a half years ago he switched to swimming, and he's now training toward a shot at the 2028 Paralympic trials. Stick around for a conversation about self-advocacy and what it means to fall in love with the pursuit instead of the finish line.
The Value Is in the Pursuit
When Graham Rainsby told me he wrote “a Paralympian” in his high school yearbook under “In 10 years, I will be...,” I did the math along with him. His ten-year reunion is next year. He doesn't yet know whether he'll get to say he did it. I found that suspended, unresolved quality more compelling than a tidy origin story, because most of the people I work with are living in exactly that kind of middle: still chasing something without a guarantee they'll catch it.
Graham has Stargardt's disease, a genetic condition that causes progressive central vision loss. He was already in glasses by kindergarten, but the real shift came in sixth grade, when his vision dropped from roughly 20/60 to 20/200 within a single year. He told me candidly that he thinks his age worked in his favor: young enough that he mostly didn't register the day-to-day change, old enough to already have a personality that would carry him through it. He described a strange, half-guilty thought he had as a kid when he was diagnosed — something close to excitement, the way a classmate with a broken arm gets a cast everyone signs. For a while, going blind felt like his version of that cast: the thing that would make him stand out.
That image stuck with me, because it captures something I hear often in my practice and rarely see named so plainly. There's a real tension between wanting your disability to mark you as distinct, and refusing to let it define you — and most people don't resolve that tension once. They renegotiate it constantly, sometimes within the same week, depending on who's in the room. Graham put words to his own version of it late in our conversation, describing himself as “an exceptional person who happens to be blind, not an exceptional blind person.” It's a small distinction with a lot of weight behind it, and I think it's worth sitting with regardless of what trait someone's negotiating: blindness, height, a diagnosis, a divorce. The question underneath is always the same. Is this thing about me, or is it the whole of me?
Graham ran competitively for most of his life before he ever thought about swimming — cross country and track through a small private school in New York City, then at Middlebury College, where he made varsity by his junior year and was voted captain for his senior season, a season COVID then erased entirely. What struck me about that stretch of his story wasn't the athletic achievement so much as the way he described the accommodations that made it possible: large-print handouts, a monocular in the classroom, and, more than any device, learning to listen for the shape of an idea rather than trying to transcribe every word he couldn't fully see. He told me he thinks that skill made him a better student, not a worse one. Constraint, applied deliberately, can build a capacity that wouldn't have developed any other way. I see this constantly in my own clients: the workaround someone builds under pressure often outlasts the pressure itself and becomes a genuine strength.
But Graham was equally honest about what constraint cost him. He said outright that he probably didn't ask for enough support in school, and that he still doesn't ask for enough now. That admission is worth pausing on, because it's the part of this conversation I suspect will land hardest for a lot of listeners. Self-advocacy gets talked about like a skill you acquire once and then have forever. In practice, it's closer to a muscle you have to keep choosing to use, and it's exhausting in a way that's easy to underestimate from the outside — deciding, over and over, whether this particular moment is worth the disclosure, the explanation, the risk of someone's disappointment when you don't match their idea of what blindness looks like. Graham described exactly that experience joining his college cross-country team: he'd sent a thoughtful email ahead of time explaining his diagnosis, only to arrive and sense his new teammates were almost let down that he didn't use a cane. He wasn't blind enough for their expectations, and blind enough for his own reality — a genuinely strange place to stand, and one a lot of people with non-apparent or partial disabilities know well.
A knee injury at the end of his senior year of college ended his running career in a slower, less dramatic way than most origin stories prefer — tendonitis that never really healed, five years and counting. For a while, Graham told me, he felt unmoored. He'd built a large part of his identity around being a runner, and without that structure, he described going through the motions in a way that didn't quite satisfy him. Two and a half years ago, he decided to try swimming instead, specifically with an eye toward Paralympic competition. He set an American record in the 50-meter butterfly in his very first race — a genuine accomplishment, even though he was quick to note, with a self-awareness I appreciated, that it's a less contested event within his classification and therefore a softer record to break. He's now working toward the qualifying time for the 2028 Paralympic trials, currently about two seconds off the mark he needs.
What I keep returning to, though, is something Graham said almost as an aside: that swimming feels strangely unsatisfying compared to running, because he can't see the clock when he finishes. In running, he always knew immediately how he'd done. In swimming, he described standing in the pool after a race with no idea whether he'd won or lost, surrounded by other swimmers who also couldn't tell him — including, in one case, another blind competitor in the next lane. It's a small, almost funny detail, but it's also an honest window into how much of an adaptive athlete's work happens invisibly, after the visible performance is already over.
I asked Graham what he'd tell his seventeen-year-old self, the one who wrote “Paralympian” in a yearbook without knowing if he'd earn it. He said he'd tell him to be a little more upfront about his vision loss when meeting new people, so he'd stop accidentally ghosting new friends he simply hadn't recognized across a dining hall. It's a smaller piece of advice than I expected, and I think that's exactly why it matters. The big lesson — that life isn't fair, and you're still responsible for how you respond to that — he'd already learned by tenth grade, from a mother who told him plainly that things would be harder for him and that this wasn't a reason to stop. What he's still working on is the quieter skill: letting people see him clearly, on his own terms, before the world makes assumptions for him.
Near the end of our conversation, Graham said something that reframed the whole hour for me. He said he genuinely loves the pursuit of the goal, separate from whether he ever reaches it — that waking up to chase something worthwhile is where the meaning actually lives, not in some future finish line. It's a philosophy that happens to mirror his own history on a cross-country course, literally following the runner ahead of him because he couldn't see the finish line or the route himself. He ran the whole race by trusting the process in front of him, one stride at a time, and it turns out that's still how he's approaching a pool, a stopwatch he can't read, and a trial two years out. If you're in the middle of your own pursuit right now — recovering, adjusting, building toward something you can't yet guarantee — I don't think Graham would tell you the outcome is what matters most. I think he'd tell you to keep running toward whoever's ahead of you, and trust that the path will make itself known.
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In this episode of inSight Out, host Matthew Reeves talks with Paralympic hopeful Graham Rainsby about losing most of his vision within a single year to Stargardt's disease, and the unlikely athletic career that followed. Diagnosed in sixth grade after his vision dropped from roughly 20/60 to 20/200, Graham describes the strange mix of denial and determination that got him through middle school, the accommodations that let him compete at the varsity level in high school and at Middlebury College, and the ongoing, exhausting calculus of deciding when and how to disclose a disability that isn't always visible at first glance.
A knee injury at the end of his senior year ended Graham's running career, and after several years adrift, he picked up competitive swimming, setting an American record in the 50-meter butterfly in his very first race. He's now training toward the qualifying time for the 2028 Paralympic trials, and he opens up about the strange unsatisfying quiet of finishing a swim race blind, unable to see the clock or know how he placed until someone tells him.
Matthew and Graham also dig into the difference between wanting to stand out because of a disability and refusing to be defined by it, why Graham still struggles to ask for enough support, and the philosophy that's carried him through two sports: that the value is in the pursuit, not the finish line.
Topics Covered: Stargardt's disease, progressive vision loss, disability disclosure, self-advocacy, collegiate athletics, adaptive sport transition, Paralympic swimming, identity and disability, resilience, chasing long-term goals.
Follow Graham on Instagram: @blindconfidences
ABOUT THE PODCAST
inSight Out is your podcast home for living well with vision loss. Host Matthew Reeves (LPC CRC NCC) is a legally-blind psychotherapist and rehabilitation counselor specializing in helping people thrive while living with disability. Matthew is licensed in Georgia and is a nationally certified rehabilitation counselor.
Please be sure to subscribe to catch every episode. And remember to share the show with others in the blind and low-vision community!
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©Integral Mental Health Services, LLC
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The following transcript is AI generated and likely contains errors.
025 Pursuing the Paralympics with Graham Rainsby
[00:00:00] Hi listeners, Matthew here. Just a quick note before we get started. Since starting Inside Out, I've come to learn how difficult it is to get the word out about the show. One of the challenges is that social media groups often block my efforts to post about the show because they interpret it as advertising.
So I'd like to make a request. Would you consider posting to the corners of the internet where you engage with the blind and low vision community? Whether it's Facebook, Reddit, Instagram, or Discord, there are folks all over who are feeling alone and under-resourced. A message from you will always mean far more than a post from the podcast host.
Thanks for taking the time to think about helping this show reach them with a link to the homepage at www.insideoutpod.com or to a specific episode you found meaningful. I know it would go a long way. Thank you.
COLD OPEN
Graham Rainsby: I think this was like one of probably the, the most cornerstone [00:01:00] lesson that I could learn froml losing my vision, but for life in general. It's like things are not fair, but you are the... you're in control of your life. At least that's how I feel from my perspective. So it's up to you to, to take what you can control and try to push towards your goals. I think,
Matthew Reeves (2): Losing my vision has t- has me to be a resilient, persistent person because it's, you know, many repetitions of things not being perfect, but still having the ability to, to chase the dreams or goals I have
INTRO
Matthew Reeves: You're listening to Insight Out a podcast about living well with low vision. Maybe you're feeling confused, scared, [00:02:00] isolated, or disheartened about a recent vision loss diagnosis, or maybe you've been managing your vision loss for a while and now you want to hear from others about how to continue growing and thriving. Insight Out is your supportive space to find healthy and impactful tools to build and maintain a truly rich and gratifying life with low or no vision.
I'm Matthew Reeves. I'm a legally blind psychotherapist and rehabilitation counselor. I specialize in helping people adjust to disability through my practice, integral Mental Health Services in Atlanta, Georgia. I'm really glad you're listening.
Please subscribe so you don't miss an episode, and let others in the low vision community know about the podcast so the word can spread to those who might find it helpful. And now on with today's discussion.
TOPIC INTRO
Matthew Reeves: today's guest lost most of his vision within a single year to Stargardt disease, and instead of asking the world to slow down for him, [00:03:00] he found ways to keep chasing the goals he'd already set. Graham Rainsby ran competitively through high school and college, where a knee injury ended his running career just as he was hitting his stride.
Two and a half years ago, he switched to swimming, and he's now training towards a shot at the 2028 Paralympic Trials. Stick around for a conversation about self-advocacy and what it means to fall in love with the pursuit instead of the finish line
INTERVIEW
Matthew Reeves (2): graham, thanks for joining me for Inside Out. Uh, I don't know that much about you except for the fact that you're training to be in the Paralympics, which sounds like a really cool story, so I'm eager to hear about that, but every, uh, chapter of our stories starts with the chapter before it.
So I know there's, there's more to you than just that. Uh, why don't you introduce yourself and, uh, we'll get started?
Graham Rainsby: Yeah. Thanks Matthew. Excited to be here. Um, yeah, so my name is Graham Ransby. [00:04:00] Uh, I have Stargardt's disease. Um, I grew up in Brooklyn. Uh, for the most part I ran track and field for a long time, but I actually recently switched to the sport of swimming at the ripe old age of 24. 27 now. yeah, excited to be here
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah. So you've got Stargardt's. Wait, tell me, tell me that story a little bit. When, when did you notice that something was up?
Graham Rainsby: Yeah, so, um, I actually never saw 20/20. Um, so I, I, I went and got glasses when I was in kindergarten. So I think pretty early on people noticed there was some lack of vision, but, um, you know, I went to the classic normal eye doctor. told my parents I was gonna grow out of it. Um, so I
Matthew Reeves (2): That's a pic- that's a peculiar take on, on low vision.
Graham Rainsby: Now that I
Matthew Reeves (2): Okay
Graham Rainsby: I think they were just bullshitting, but
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah. Yeah. Sounds that way[00:05:00]
Graham Rainsby: Um, but so I had relatively good vision, um, from about ages zero to 10. Um, around fourth grade, so don't know if you remember this back in the day, but, you know, like there was the advanced, like kind of, they didn't say it out loud, but there was like an advanced math and, you know, slightly elevated classes in lower school, but they, you know, they didn't say directly that's what it was.
And, and I think around fourth grade they started taking me from the advanced classes and moving down to the not e- like, you know, the slower classes.
Matthew Reeves (2): Mm-hmm.
Graham Rainsby: and it was because, like things like my times tables were really slow, my reading times were really slow. Like, I remember being asked to reread passages and like they were timing it, and I guess, which it kind of seems like a weird metric.
But, um, so
Matthew Reeves (2): But it, it's the metric they had, so yeah.
Graham Rainsby: Yeah. There, there was some, there was some notice in school. Um, but it wasn't until like sixth [00:06:00] grade, um, that I actually went to a new eye doctor and was diagnosed with Stargardt's disease. I think it became pretty, like remember in fifth grade sitting in the-- So fifth grade was like for me when middle school started, so like where we actually switched classes. I remember sitting in the back of class and not being able to read the board, and
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: like just everyone who sits in the back of class, didn't care and couldn't read the whiteboard. But it,
Matthew Reeves (2): So, so it didn't really stand out that you, that you were having trouble seeing it?
Graham Rainsby: Yeah, I g- I mean, it, it should have, I think there, I think there was one or two teachers in sixth grade who told my parents like, "Hey, I think, I think his main struggle is he's actually just not seeing well." Um, so that was what prompted me to go to, um... I, I live in New Y- I grew up in New York City, uh, so I guess luckily there I have a lot of access to some of the best medicine. So I went to an eye doctor, [00:07:00] which actually I don't remember who it was anymore, but this was a normal, like, ophthalmologist, and he was like, "I think you should go get him tested for Stargardt's," which is kind of a crazy on his part because
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah
Graham Rainsby: know much.
Um-
Matthew Reeves (2): To jump straight to that is very surprising
Graham Rainsby: So then I went to Mount Sinai. I did a bunch, you know, I'm, I'm sure you have a similar story. I did a bunch of testing, um, and yeah, they confirmed it was Stargardt's disease. Um, then right around then was also when I lost the majority of my vision. I went from like... So I think I had around 20/60 to 20/80 in sixth grade, and then by seventh grade I was being corrected to 20/200. Um-
Matthew Reeves (2): that's a quick jump at a young age. Uh, my onset was much slower than that, uh, much more gradual. That must have been... And what was that like for you? It was different, different than my experience.
Graham Rainsby: Yeah. So to be honest, I, I like to say that I think I was so naive [00:08:00] and so young that it was good that it happened then. Like, although to your point, really fast drop, I, I didn't... Day-to-day, I did not notice. So I don't know if it was... I, I know confidently that if that were to happen to me now at 27, I would notice every
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: like maybe every week I'd be pointing things out. But back then, I, I, I truly did not notice the day-to-day change.
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: Obviously, a big shift overall. Um, but there was, I think in some ways unhealthy and I think some ways very healthy, I had this thought when I was diagnosed Similar to like when you're in middle school, you know, someone comes in with a broken arm and they have a cast and is that small part of you that's like, "Oh, it'd be kind of cool to have a cast and have everyone sign it."
In, in my mind that was, this was going to be my cast, so my way to stand out in the world.[00:09:00]
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: I don't think I was really thinking through all the, the consequences and changes in my life because of this. But, um, I actually think that's something that, that's really helped me. Um, I think it, in a way I think of it as my way to, kind of out in the world. Um, but it was definitely tough. you know, I remember sixth and seventh grade, to be honest, like in most of middle school I did not do very well in, in, in class. Um, and I think a large part of that was just trying to, you know, out how to learn again when you can't see what's happening in the, in the classroom.
Matthew Reeves (2): Right.
Graham Rainsby: for me.
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah.
Graham Rainsby: Um-
Matthew Reeves (2): you use the word cast. Uh, I know you meant it as, like, the, the broken bone thing, but the, the plaster. But, uh, when you said it, I was like, oh, you, you were hoping to get cast in a certain way, in a certain light to be seen, um, [00:10:00] as maybe this is the thing that marks you as distinct or special.
But also, uh, for so many of us, it's, like, the thing that defines us, which we don't want. That's a delicate balance
Graham Rainsby: That is a delicate balance. I think for me, I struggle with that in terms of like when do you tell someone that you have Stargardt's?
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: upon first meeting, I don't know about you, like obviously everyone's different. For me, both my eyes are, are quite similar, so they, they, you know, they track well together, so I don't look blind.
Matthew Reeves (2): Mm-hmm.
Graham Rainsby: obviously I am blind and it becomes pretty clear in certain settings. But in cer- other settings, like if I walk into a room and just introduce myself, you can't really tell.
Matthew Reeves (2): Right. Right
Graham Rainsby: so I think for me, I, I, I sometimes don't want to lead that I'm blind, and not because I'm ashamed of being blind, but, well, one, there's just so many questions that, that follow.
Matthew Reeves (2): It's exhausting
Graham Rainsby: also, I, I like to think of my s- uh, myself, I mean, not very humble, but I think I'm an exceptional person who [00:11:00] happens to be blind, not that I'm an exceptional blind person
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah. Yeah, I love that. I like that idea that in our own way everybody's exceptional, and some of us are blind. And some of us are tall, and some of us have brothers, right? You know, like, there's, it's just traits, uh, desc- describers of, of something about us, uh, not, not a definition of us. Uh, that's very cool.
You said you had to learn how to learn with low vision, kind of had to relearn how to learn, which is the, your main, your, uh, the early academic challenge. Did you have support in that?
Graham Rainsby: I had some support. Um I think I was very strong-headed. so I went to a, a, a private school in New York City, which when they found out I was going blind, kind of suggested to my parents that maybe I go, be educated somewhere else. and my parents [00:12:00] did not, did not agree with that. So I, I stayed and, and, you know, by the end of it, things were great. Um, but there was definitely a learning curve for my teachers, for myself in terms of what I needed to, to do well in the classroom, and I'm sure, you know, would be very different now in 2026 rather than then. This is like 2012.
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah.
Graham Rainsby: so I
Matthew Reeves (2): Still that's, that's, uh, what? 22 years after the ADA for them to even make that suggestion kind of breaks my heart. Uh, did you feel, did you feel unwelcome?
Graham Rainsby: I, to be honest, I didn't know.
Matthew Reeves (2): Okay
Graham Rainsby: that was, that was a conversation until I was older.
Matthew Reeves (2): Okay. Well, I'm glad your parents said, "Nope, he has every right to be here."
Graham Rainsby: Yeah, I don't think there was a second my parents were, like, considering that advice.
Matthew Reeves (2): Good. Good. So they, I guess everybody was learning, including your school, how to de- how to deal with a student with a vision impairment.
Graham Rainsby: Yeah, I think I was the [00:13:00] first person with a visual impairment in my, my high school or middle school.
Matthew Reeves (2): Gotcha. So they, so that support came along and you all figured it out, and then what happened?
Graham Rainsby: Yeah, I mean, uh, uh, so yeah, I, you know, I got, I would get my handouts large print. I don't know if you, you know, I
Matthew Reeves (2): Mm-hmm.
Graham Rainsby: those double size
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah. Yeah
Graham Rainsby: that was good because when they enlarge the font, it usually kinda like messed up the structure of the page.
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: when you get the double large piece of paper, it's a bit more like, you know, has same, the same content and news as everyone else, you just got
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: really large piece of paper.
So obviously there's kind of the social stigma. Luckily for me, like I said, I went to a small school, so I had about 80 kids in my, you know, entire grade or class. Um, and so it took like a year to kinda get everyone on board, but then, then I was with those same people [00:14:00] basically, um, until high school.
Then in high school it was only like 20 or 30 new kids, so most of the people I already knew, so it was, it was actually quite easy from that perspective. Um, I think I was a bit lucky there. Um, but to be honest, I, I probably didn't ask for enough. Um, and I probably still wouldn't ask for enough, if I'm honest with you. Um, I get, yeah, so I got large, large handouts. I got, I used, I used to use a monocular in the classroom. that was really helpful. that's about it. Um, yeah
Matthew Reeves (2): Okay. So that worked for you. That was the,
Graham Rainsby: That worked
Matthew Reeves (2): the, the, the-
Graham Rainsby: think the main thing for me is I got much better at, um, learning by listening. I think I
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah
Graham Rainsby: think it really helped my, like, retention in terms of, like, I can sit and listen to somebody lecture, or at least I used to be able to. I haven't been in a classroom in a long time. But I would sit and listen to people lecture, and I feel like I could hold onto most of the important things.
[00:15:00] Um, think in a way almost it helps you not get distracted by the kind of finer details at times. You can really just grasp and, like, listen to the, the main kind of points that someone's trying to get across to you.
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah, I,
Graham Rainsby: try to... And I don't--
Matthew Reeves (2): I f-
Graham Rainsby: Yeah
Matthew Reeves (2): I th- sorry, I f- I found the same thing in my education, that, that by listening carefully I w- I was pretty strong at hearing the concepts and not getting lost in the minutia and the details, whereas every- where I would watch other people who were feeling like they had to transcribe every word in the classroom in order to study it, and I was like, "I, I can't.
Like, that's impossible for me." So I have to, I have to do it differently. Uh, it sounds like you had a similar experience.
Graham Rainsby: Similar experience. I will say, I don't know if this is-- I've always thought this was just me, but I am so bad when it comes to, like, the, "Oh, what's the definition of this particular thing?" Like, I
Matthew Reeves (2): Mm-hmm.
Graham Rainsby: that was always where I struggled in the classroom because I think that's partially just how [00:16:00] operate.
Like, I can go look up the definition, it doesn't feel like a, an incredibly important thing to remember. But I also think it, it might be because I'm not in the classroom seeing that being written down and, like, focusing on this is the definition. I gotta, I gotta make sure I memorize that. I'm just mainly focusing on the, on the overarching concepts
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah, yeah. I mean, w- yeah, even I think that's an important point that not everything that we experience is directly attributable to this one aspect of who we are and our vision loss. So you also just have different personalities and different learning styles, and that's normal. Uh, so fair- point taken.
Good point. Um, so you went through high school, graduated. Uh, when, when did the, uh, athletics start, uh, coming into your life in a serious way?
Graham Rainsby: Yeah. So, um, I would say in I mean, so I, I played a v- [00:17:00] variety of sports before I lost my vision, um, and a couple afterwards. And to be honest with you, I think I was destined to be a runner regardless. Um, but obviously is, you know, don't need a lot of vision to be a good runner. need some vision, but I think I have enough vision to be a good runner. Um, you know, I have enough that I don't, I didn't need a guide. Um, and so yeah, I played, like, a couple racket sports growing up. As soon as I started losing my vision, I told my parents, "Enough of this." You know, I don't wanna play on a, on an unfair advantage. I'd rather just, you know, run where it doesn't matter.
Like, you know, there's a couple things that matter, but it, it's, it's really just, like, how fast can you run? And I
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: like, in the other sports I would do, the, the coaches would always be like, "You're the fastest kid out there, but you're not actually that good at the, the sport we're doing."
Matthew Reeves (2): That's, [00:18:00] that's, boy, that's two opposite ends of the spectrum for running where vision is far less important, minimally important other than maybe safety. Uh, and then, like, cert- maybe not trail running, but, you know, on a track, probably not that big a deal. And then the other end of the sport was the racket sports where I can't imagine something that requires more vision than that.
Like, that is very, very difficult to do without vision. Uh, so you really, you really ran the gamut.
Graham Rainsby: I did. I will say, I think if there was a, like, blind, like a racket sports in the Paralympics, I think I could do pretty, pretty well. But, um, I think that
Matthew Reeves (2): Maybe
Graham Rainsby: a really mean sport to set up, so
Matthew Reeves (2): Maybe you can figure out the engineering to make that happen and find- make that accessible. Uh, I, I- it might even be, it might exist already. I don't wanna make an assumption that it doesn't. Uh, I certainly am not familiar with it, but I, that's not a world I live in. So, so you switched to running, uh, and that-
Graham Rainsby: in like seventh [00:19:00] and eighth grade.
Matthew Reeves (2): Okay
Graham Rainsby: Um, but I didn't really-- I mean, I went to, as I said, I went to a small private school in New York City. They were not very sports forward, um, right? It was much more about academics. and so like I joined the, the high sch- you know, high school cross country and track teams when I was a freshman. Um, I would say I was quite good in the world of where I was running and training, which was, be honest, like I, you know, I think I was a big fish in a small pond situation.
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: at least like freshman year. Um, you know, I was like on the varsity squad my freshman year. Um, and by sophomore year, I was the captain of the team, but there was only nine kids on the team, so it's not quite as impressive as it might sound.
Um, I think what was good about running and training in New York City is I had the opportunity to run in these small races where I got to be the big fish, and then I would go to these huge invites on the weekend and actually see where I s- I squared up in the, in the real kind [00:20:00] of, you know, being
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah. Right
Graham Rainsby: so it was nice 'cause I got to pretend to be the hometown hero, then actually go race like the fastest people in the country and see where I stacked up.
Matthew Reeves (2): You got your dose of reality enough to keep you grounded.
Graham Rainsby: Yes.
Matthew Reeves (2): That's good.
Graham Rainsby: Um
Matthew Reeves (2): So did, did that translate into college as well?
Graham Rainsby: Yeah, yeah. So, you know, by my junior and senior year I was, I was running times fast enough to get recruited, um, for Division III. A couple-- I got a couple D1 offers, but not- nothing like super mainstream D1. Um, but yeah, I was, I was excited about running. So for me, I think what, what excited me about college was, as I mentioned, you know, the school I went to was not, um, very sports forward, so there was, there was not a lot of people on my team who I r- like actually could run and train with.
Um, so like to give you an example, I ran 15:48 in the 5K my senior year of high school, and the next [00:21:00] fastest person on my team that year I think ran 18:20 something. Um,
Matthew Reeves (2): Quite a gap
Graham Rainsby: a, quite a gap. We only had practice three times a week. I ran basically every day in high school. I just would run by myself most days. Um, so I was excited to be on a team where I was not the cornerstone and the best guy. I wanted to be pushed by everyone else.
Matthew Reeves (2): Mm-hmm.
Graham Rainsby: so I was excited. And yeah, so I, I ended up getting recruited. Um, you know, I ran at, at Middlebury College in Vermont, which was, uh, you know, really beautiful place. It's also, you know, I w- I grew up in Brooklyn, so most of the running I did was like concrete, on the sidewalk.
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: and then I went up to Middlebury, Vermont, which we were doing trail runs and it was great. I will say there were some trail running aspects that I was, you know, I was not a huge fan. Like some people really loved a couple trail runs, and they had like a decent amount of roots. And honestly, I never really fell, but there was a lot of [00:22:00] like almost falling.
So I was--
Matthew Reeves (2): Right. Right
Graham Rainsby: stay out of the trails for the most part. Um, but yeah, overall it was good. I think in terms of high school, the biggest kind of issues I ran into running cross country, track is, is, is fine. Cross country is where I had some issues. Like the big thing was not knowing where the finish line was, and also not knowing the course.
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: And, and I was fast enough in high school to win a lot of the races I ran, and so there were multiple times where I actually take the lead on purpose I could follow whoever was currently
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: in order to not get lost on the course.
Matthew Reeves (2): They were being your sighted guide without even being aware of it.
Graham Rainsby: yeah. Yeah. And then I would, you know, like wait till the, wait until I knew where I was and ah, I'm
Matthew Reeves (2): Right. Now I c- now I can fire ahead. That's great.
Graham Rainsby: Yeah.
Matthew Reeves (2): That's, that's a good adaptation.
Graham Rainsby: Yeah
Matthew Reeves (2): uh, so [00:23:00] when... Let's see. You, you, so you went to, uh, Middlebury, Middlebury. Am I getting that name right?
Graham Rainsby: Yeah.
Matthew Reeves (2): And then,
Graham Rainsby: yeah
Matthew Reeves (2): and what was it like? You started being, uh, uh, in a slightly larger pond, to put, to put it that way. Uh, and, and presumably if your course of star guards runs like so many, you're still having some progressive loss at, in your early 20s.
Uh, is that, is that still happening? And, and, and how did the academics work for you at this stage? Catch, catch us up on that part of it
Graham Rainsby: Yeah, yeah. And I, you know, I wanna say one quick thing before we go to college, which is for academically for me in, in 10th grade, would say is, was kind of a huge switching point for me in my
Matthew Reeves (2): Hmm. How so?
Graham Rainsby: learning, learning career, which was, um, I am a confident person. That's right, I told you my, my is Blind Confidence for a reason, which is [00:24:00] when I'm in the classroom, I'm, I'm competitive.
I, I thought I was a smart kid, I thought I should be doing well, and it really frustrated me to be sitting in the classroom feeling disadvantaged and, and seeing do better than me on certain tests I thought I should be doing well as well. Um, distinctly remember, um, it was 10th grade, it was just coming back from spring break, so I had, had kind of like two-week reset or one-week reset between classes.
So, you know, you're kind of coming back to where your experience, but it's fresh.
Matthew Reeves (2): Mm-hmm.
Graham Rainsby: It was like a bad day, like a lot of my teachers forgot to enlarge my handouts. The home- like the homework I had was in textbooks I didn't have large print of, so I'm like using a CCTV. I was frustrated. And I basically told my mom, like, "This sucks."
Like, things are inherently harder for me, and I'm frustrated because I know I am capable, but it just doesn't feel like it's being shown anywhere.[00:25:00]
Matthew Reeves (2): Right.
Graham Rainsby: was basically like, "Yeah, you're right. Like, things are gonna be harder for you, and that's the reality, but that shouldn't stop you. Like we, we need to like accept that it's gonna be harder and then continue on anyway.
Like everyone's got a challenge, this is... We're lucky we know your challenge is this." Um, from that day forward, honestly, I just, like when I was in the classroom and it felt like I didn't learn something, I would go home and read the textbook. When I got, you know, homework handouts that weren't enlarged, I would figure it out. and it's not to say, right, would've been better if things were all perfect, but I think I... That was kind of the switch for me where I, I, it felt like I took kind of my performance in school into my own hands, and I would say I did considerably better in school once that day
Matthew Reeves (2): That seems like that lesson, um, [00:26:00] would apply to vision loss ob- ob- obviously, but maybe even beyond that, that, that sense of, all right, it's not always fair. Maybe it's not always fair for completely different reasons, but it's not always fair, and how do I, how do I choose to respond to that? Does, uh, did, has that, has that shown up in other parts of your life?
Graham Rainsby: Yeah, I would say so. I mean, I think this was like one of probably the, the most cornerstone lesson that I could learn froml losing my vision, but for life in general. It's like things are not fair, but you are the You're in control of your life. At least that's how I feel from my perspective. So it's up to you to, to take what you can control and try to push towards your goals. I think,
Matthew Reeves (2): Losing
Graham Rainsby: my vision has t- has me to be a resilient, persistent person because it's, you know, many [00:27:00] repetitions of things not being perfect, but still having the ability to, to chase the dreams or goals I have
Matthew Reeves (2): That's, that's a powerful message. Fantastic life lesson to... Especially, you know, I think it's entirely possible for somebody to learn that lesson much, much later in life. I, I, it's, uh, it's so cool to hear how you learned it pretty early, uh, and how to turn s- an adversity like that into something that, that makes you proud of yourself.
Uh, that's, that's, that's a great story. I'm grateful for you sharing that. What do, where do we go next in the story of Graham?
Graham Rainsby: Yeah, yeah. So, um, yeah, so I would say from there, I think college is, is kind of the next changing point. Um, so I went to college. I would say... So the luxury I had in high school, which is I went to a small school, a lot of people knew me, [00:28:00] I did not have in college. I mean, I still went to a small liberal arts college, but, you know, 600 to 700 people in my, in my class, which
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: know, 2,700 people at the school.
Which all things said is, is pretty small, but
Matthew Reeves (2): Great
Graham Rainsby: that's a lot of people. Um, and so I had to deal with I was joining a new team. I had to disclose to my teammates. I had to disclose to my professors every semester.
Matthew Reeves (2): Mm-hmm.
Graham Rainsby: you know, I was sitting in classrooms with fif- 50 or s- I, you know, luckily I had small class size, but I was still sitting in classrooms with 50 or 60 people I had never met before using monocular, zooming in on my computer screen. Um, and also to be honest, like I was making new friends. I was meeting people and then walking right past them in the dining
Matthew Reeves (2): Right.
Graham Rainsby: Um,
Matthew Reeves (2): That's a f- that's a familiar sensation.
Graham Rainsby: Yeah.
Matthew Reeves (2): been there. Yeah
Graham Rainsby: So I would say honestly, I, [00:29:00] I really, I did not love my freshman year of college, and there was a lot of reasons, not just because of my vision, but, you know, like I, I was still dating my high school girlfriend at the time, so I was like traveling a lot back and forth to see her.
But mainly, you know, I didn't, I didn't feel like, uh, uh, there was a lot of people at the school who knew me well or understood the vision loss I had. I would also say it was honestly, I had a couple comment- obviously, right, with, with low vision you get a lot of comments that are kinda like, okay, that's not really the, the, the nicest thing to say.
But most of the time it was an accident. I would say in college was like the first time I had people saying like rude things seemingly on purpose about my vision.
Matthew Reeves (2): Hmm.
Graham Rainsby: which again, I'm a confident person, you know, for the most part that's fine. But it was, it was the first time I was like, "What the hell?"
Like, why would you
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah.
Graham Rainsby: say that to somebody? [00:30:00] Um,
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah, that's, that's, uh, that's distressing. It's one thing to expect something from, like, a b- uh, an element- an elementary school playground, but in college you, you expect more maturity than that, so
Graham Rainsby: Yeah, I would, it w- it was interesting. I, I would say I, I definitely experienced more kind of from, like, a social perspective in college than high school, which I would say is
Matthew Reeves (2): Hmm. Yeah, that seems
Graham Rainsby: and, and that
Matthew Reeves (2): peculiar
Graham Rainsby: there were a lot of people who were good, but, um... So I'll give, I'll give some examples, I think maybe to make this a bit more concrete. So, you know, like freshman year joining the cross country team, there's like a team email beforehand where everyone was like, you know, sending funny emails, like, you know. And I was like, I was trying to be on top of it, so I was like, "Okay, I'm gonna send an email," where I'm like, "Hey guys," like at the...
"Just so you know," like, "I have this blind, you know, I'm, I'm blind. I have Stargardt disease. I'm open to talk about it, but I just figured, [00:31:00] like, since we're gonna be spending all this time together, you guys should, you guys should know." And obviously I told the coach. it was, like, remotely good. And, and everyone was pretty good, but when I got there...
And this is, this was not, like, a bad experience, but this was more just, like, the classic experience of being blind and trying to operate through that, which is like, I get there and people are almost, like, let down. They're like, "We thought you said you were gonna be blind. Like, you, you don't have a cane. You seem
Matthew Reeves (2): You don't, you don't fit our definition of what a blind person should look like. You, you've disappointed us
Graham Rainsby: yeah. Which was just kinda just like a funny experience. Um, and it, and then, like, you know, like 25 guys, a freshman, you're still trying to figure yourself out, and they're like, you know, you're kind of trying to... Like, you're on your back foot trying to be like, "Oh, I am blind," but also like, "I'm not that blind.
Don't worry." Like,
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: it was just kind of, um, you know,
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah, so you had to, everybody's expectations were different, including your own, like for [00:32:00] what that experience would be like. Yeah. So eventually it sounds like you kind of got through that hurdle and, and things integrated and you're, you're running at the collegiate level, and how's that going?
Graham Rainsby: Yeah, so, you know, running at the collegiate level was, um... It was a slow, kind of slow upwards, but it went well. Um, you know, my freshman year I was like, oh, I think I was the 16th man on the team, which was, I would say probably I expected to be somewhere around there, so it wasn't like a hard pill to swallow, but it was kind of refreshing, honestly, to be, to, to be surrounded by people who were, were quite talented. Um, that was, that was fun for me. Um, and then, you know, through, through the, through the years, I, you know, my, my sophomore year, I think I was like the 11th man on the cross-country team. Ran a couple like relays on the track for the team. and then by my junior year I was, I was on our varsity squad. You know, we [00:33:00] ran at, um, the NCAA meet, which was really cool.
Like, you know, our top seven qualified to make nationals, um, which was like kind of my dream, you know, in college. Be on our, be on our team, our varsity squad, and run at nationals. you know, I think most people in college like have the choice to either go abroad their junior year or, you know, maybe spring, I made the conscious decision like, I'm not gonna go abroad because I want the opportunity to, to run at nationals and potentially more than once, right?
Junior and senior year. Um, senior year, so the end of my junior year was COVID. So luckily for me, chose to not go abroad because there was no NCAs my, my, uh, senior year. I was actually captain of the team that year. I was like, you know, what, voted, junior year before COVID, um, to be captain next year, which was, which was, uh, yeah, for me,
Matthew Reeves (2): Yes
Graham Rainsby: time, that was a big deal.
I was, [00:34:00] I was excited. You know, I kind of poured four years of hard work into, into inching my way up on the team.
Matthew Reeves (2): Right?
Graham Rainsby: yeah, so that felt like a culminating moment. Obviously bittersweet because COVID, we didn't race at all, so we were kind of like a, yeah, in
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah.
Graham Rainsby: team. But yeah,
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah.
Graham Rainsby: for the most part it worked out well
Matthew Reeves (2): Gotcha. And then, uh, I know you told me before we recorded that there, there came a time when there was an injury. Is that the next step?
Graham Rainsby: Yeah, yeah. I'd say, um, yeah, from the athletic perspective, yeah, my senior year, um, I hurt my knee right at the end, like April of my senior year. Um, I g- I think I graduated in May. we had, like, one potential race we were gonna do even though it was still kind of COVID-y, and it was, like, a couple-- It was like a month out from that, so I was like, "Well, maybe I'll just keep running."
'Cause it was, like, tendonitis, so I was like, "I can keep running. It's just [00:35:00] hurting." Um, and it got worse. I didn't run. I graduated, and I was like, "Well, I'm just gonna take some time off running, you know? I've been running basically for a decade straight. Take a, you know, couple months off. Probably will just get better itself." Has yet to get better. It's been five years now, so
Matthew Reeves (2): Hmm.
Graham Rainsby: um. So yeah, about, um, you know, I graduated, started my job. I was, like, lifting in the gym for the first time in, like, a, you know, classic, you know, dude, bro, like, just go to the gym and just, like, benching, like, as a, you
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: to be, like, 140 pounds and run, like, 80 miles a week, and now I'm just like, "Well, I'll just, like, kinda see what I can do." But i-
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: back of my mind this whole time when I was running was like, "Okay, once I graduate college, like, I'm gonna see if I can run at the Paralympics." That's like, like, as I told you, like, I ran 15.48 in high school. I think, like, back in the day, the American record in the 5K was only, [00:36:00] like, 15.30 in, in
Matthew Reeves (2): Wow.
Graham Rainsby: Paralympic disability group.
So I was like, I didn't really, um, look into much of the Paralympics back then because I was just kind of-- I figured, like, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm running three seasons right now in high school and college. I'll, I'll look into it once I'm done. and then obviously hurt my knee, so I, I couldn't really do much.
So I figured, uh, my You know, I'm out of school now, and I'm like, kind of felt like I was, I don't know, I, I had attached a lot of my identity to being a runner or being an athlete. and I felt like I was kind of just like, I wasn't very satisfied with, like, what was happening. I mean, I was, I was having fun, but feel like I had the true, like, kind of like guiding North Star in terms of a goal. Um, so like, yeah, two and a half years ago I said, "Okay, screw it. Like if I can't run, I can try to swim and see if, uh, see if I can become good at the Paralympics and, you know, in, within swimming." [00:37:00] Um, I actually, so I actually an American record in the 50 meter butterfly at my first race, um,
Matthew Reeves (2): Congratulations.
Graham Rainsby: That was really cool. and to be honest, like, you know, there's no need for me to say this, but I will say that the record is for the fif- so within the Paralympic discip- disciplines, for my disability class, uh, we're S13s. We swim the 50 free and then hundreds of the strokes in the Paralympics. So the 50 butterfly does not get competed a lot.
So it was a softer record, but regardless of that, I still set it and it was still awesome, so from
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah. Yeah.
Graham Rainsby: Um,
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah. Own it
Graham Rainsby: that was, that was really fun. Um, and so I've been to a couple races since then. Um, yeah, and I, as I was saying, you know, like I'm going to my first like Team USA training camp, uh, in like four or [00:38:00] five days from now.
Matthew Reeves (2): Wow. Wow. So what's, uh... Before we go into the future, I wanna re- rewind a little bit to the past.
Graham Rainsby: yeah
Matthew Reeves (2): The, the running, uh, was largely... Well, I mean, that, that goes back so far into your history, but it, but it was a pretty accessible sport and that the vision loss didn't have a huge impact on.
Graham Rainsby: Yeah
Matthew Reeves (2): about, what...
Are there any differences with swimming? What did you, or were any, did anything surprise you about the role of vision with swimming?
Graham Rainsby: Yeah, I would say, you know, there's something about swimming that is deeply unsatisfying when you're blind because w- with running, when I finish a race, I know exactly how well I did,
Matthew Reeves (2): Mm-hmm.
Graham Rainsby: relatively. Usually you're wearing a watch, pause your watch, you see your time, you see where you finished. With swimming, I've only swam, like, four races, so I think part of it is, like, I'm still getting up to speed, but when I finish, I can't see the clock, so I have no clue, like, did I swim well?
Did I swim poorly? Also, like, I swim mainly the 50, so it's such a [00:39:00] short race. Like, by the time I finish and look around, everyone else is finished, but it's like, did I win? Did I lose? I don't know. Um, that f- there's like... It's crazy. Like, so last year I went to my first, like, international race. Um, well, okay, it was in In- in Indianapolis, but the field was international.
Matthew Reeves (2): Right. Right
Graham Rainsby: and, um, I, I swim the, yeah, I'm in the, the top seed or top seeded group for the 50 free, some really fast, like, very impressive Paralympians in the field. Um, dive in. I did not have a good race, but I didn't know that. I, like, finish
Matthew Reeves (2): Mm-hmm.
Graham Rainsby: and I'm like, "Okay, that I do. I don't know." And I'm, like, walking around with everyone else, no, like, for, like, 10 minutes, no clue how I did. Like,
Matthew Reeves (2): No, no one was, no one was there to
Graham Rainsby: knows. And I mean, there's a guy, the guy next to me, he's also blind. Like, he, he can't,
Matthew Reeves (2): Oh my God. Okay.
Graham Rainsby: and tell me how, how we did. [00:40:00] So it's just kind of funny to be... And then, like, you know instantly. Like, I asked... So I don't have, like, a, a true coach, but I had someone coaching me at the meet, and I was like, "Hey," like, finally got to him.
I was like, "Ben, how'd it go?" And then instantly I could see, like, ooh, not well based off
Matthew Reeves (2): You, you would think maybe that's an area where they can, uh, make it a little more accessible for people and make an, uh, an audible announcement instead of a visual announcement for a class of, of the, of visually impaired athletes
Graham Rainsby: Yeah. Yeah, there is some sort of audio announcements. I don't know if they go through everyone's times. And
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: you got your swim cap on, like, it's possible I missed it when I was finishing, but
Matthew Reeves (2): I see. Yeah. Yeah. So it gets... It might be complicated. Yeah
Graham Rainsby: Yeah, the only other issue I have is partially vision, partially this is a skill thing, which is, right, I'm new to swimming.
So the second race I went to was the National Championships for, like, para-swimming, and as I told you, I mainly focus on the [00:41:00] 50, but I signed up for the 100 freestyle. I flying down to Florida, I figured I'd, I'd swim more than one race. So I signed up for the 100 freestyle, which there's a flip turn in that race, right?
It's more than one just down at the end. So I make the, the B finals in the, in the 100, which was fun, and, uh, I'm in the finals, gun goes off, feeling great. I'm like, okay, to do my flip turn. I flip, I push off, and just hit nothing. my
Matthew Reeves (2): Oh
Graham Rainsby: don't hit the wall, I'm just floating there, and I'm like, "Oh, shit." And I just, like, slowly drifted into the wall and, like, tapped my toes off the wall and swam back. Um, part of... I mean, I'd love to tell you that was 100% a vision issue. I think that was, like, 30% a vision issue and 70% just not being experienced enough, [00:42:00] um, 'cause there's a whole bunch of things you can do to solve that.
You can count your laps, or you can count your strokes.
Matthew Reeves (2): Right
Graham Rainsby: You can also... You just kind of... I think it's one of those things you, you, you get better at. You know the
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah
Graham Rainsby: you get your flip turns in.
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah, you do it enough, intuition kicks in. It start-- You don't have to think about it so much if it's like other things. That's, yeah. So what, what comes next? You're going to the, what is this, a qualifying meet? Tell me more. I don't, I don't really understand how the system works. What's, what's next?
Graham Rainsby: So, I mean, so right, really the only thing on the time horizon for me is there are the Paralympic trials in 2028, and
Matthew Reeves (2): Okay
Graham Rainsby: I gotta swim fast there. And then I get invited to be on the team or if I don't get invited to be on the team.
Matthew Reeves (2): Wow
Graham Rainsby: from a time standpoint, so I swam 26.98 in the 50-meter freestyle about a year ago, about one year into [00:43:00] swimming. and I need to swim about 25 flat to, like, be confident to get a spot on the team.
Matthew Reeves (2): I see.
Graham Rainsby: Um,
Matthew Reeves (2): would, what would that, what would that mean to you to get, to get a spot on the team? What's, what's driving you?
Graham Rainsby: Yeah. I mean, that would be, it would be awesome to me. I think, I think a lot of athletes, one, one caveat is I think a lot of a- athletes have this idea that, like, once I achieve this mark or whatever it is, then I'll, I'll be thrilled. And to be honest, I love the pursuit of the goal. Um, so what, what, what honestly is meaningful to me is that I get to wake up and, and try to chase what seems like a very worthwhile dream, um, every day, which I think that's, like, where I try to ground myself. Um, but at the same time, I would be thrilled if I could call myself a Paralympian. [00:44:00] Uh, I think Team USA would be really cool. You know, both my grandfather and my great-grandfather fought in World War I and World War II. Obviously, this is not nearly the same thing, but to be able to represent Team USA, there's been some incredible athletes on the team. like, a, a Team USA branded, you know, swimsuit would be really cool. And like, what, in high school, my, like, which inc- it's crazy that I wrote this in hindsight, but in my yearbook, it's like, "In 10 years, I will be," and I wrote, "a Paralympian." So my 10-year high school reunion is next year, so um, yeah, gotta get it done, otherwise I'm gonna look like a fraud.
So
Matthew Reeves (2): Well, the, the, the, the reunion happens, if my doing my math right, before [00:45:00] you will know whether you're...
Graham Rainsby: Yeah
Matthew Reeves (2): you are certainly on track. Uh, you can say I'm pursuing that goal still to this day. Yeah. That's amazing. What, what would you tell yourself, I mean, it's almost 10 years later, what, what, if you could go back and tell that high school version of you something that he didn't know, what would that be?
Graham Rainsby: It's a good question To be honest, I think my high school self was doing pretty well. Um, I think maybe I would try to prepare him for college in terms of I was still not very good at advocating for myself, and honestly, that's still a skill I, I need to work on. Um, but I would tell them from a, to, to try to be a bit more f- upfront with my vision loss when, when meeting people.
Because I had, like, a lot of experiences in college where I would meet people, we'd, we'd like hang out, be good [00:46:00] friends, and then I'd run into them in the dining hall like weeks later and they'd be like, "Dude, what the... Like, what the hell? You've been blowing me off all like the last like month." I was like, "I, I swear I've just been walking past you without realizing."
But you know, little things. Honestly, I think I think I had a more kind of like, I'm sure you feel this. Like in 20- at, at 17 in high school, I was like, I was very strong-headed, like, "I'm gonna go this." Um, I was, I was more, probably more overconfident then than I am now. Um, so I think it, I think in a way, I think, I think, I think he still had it figured out back then
Matthew Reeves (2): That's, that's cool. I like the, the message of advocate for yourself. Uh, I think that's one of the, that's one of the hardest lessons that, that so many of us have to learn is that, uh, you know, I think our society does a really good job of saying if you're different, you're [00:47:00] bad. Like, uh, like there's a, this, this, the, the stigma sends a big powerful message to, to those of us who face it when we're young.
So to tell yourself, that early version of yourself, no, the stigma's the thing that's wrong. Like, that's, that's the thing that's not right. You do deserve to advocate for yourself. You deserve everything everybody else deserves. You're, you're no better, no worse. Uh, and, and so go out there and demand it. Uh, and I think that's a, a great message for anybody, uh, at any age, uh, with, with a, with any kind of disability or not just disability.
We, we all deserve the same opportunities and the, and like you said earlier, we don't all get them, and how we respond to that is our own choice. But it's, it's not okay for the world to say we don't deserve it. Uh, so that, that's what that advocacy is all about. So that's a great message. Um, I know, uh, we're, we're starting to come up on time.
Is there anything [00:48:00] else, uh, that, that is a message? Uh, tell me more about your Instagram. I, I do wanna ask about that. Uh, you said it's, uh, Blind Confidence, is that the name?
Graham Rainsby: Yeah, Blind Conf- it's actually s- it's Blind Confident Dense with an S at the end because I don't know why when I made it, I thought that would be like a fine addition. But
Matthew Reeves (2): So it's spelled D-E-N-S-E. So if people wanna look it up, I wanna make sure I put the
Graham Rainsby: I think blind. So it's like blind confidence how you would spell it, and then just an S at the end of confidence.
Matthew Reeves (2): Okay.
Graham Rainsby: so it's like
Matthew Reeves (2): So blank confidence is plural. Gotcha. Okay. I'll, I'll put that in the show notes as well
Graham Rainsby: thanks. Yeah. Um, I, see, I would say, um, you know, from, the Instagram perspective, what I'm trying to do there is... I actually recently made a reel about this. So basically, when I was 12, maybe you had a similar experience, right? I was diagnosed with Stargardt's.
I was losing my vision. I didn't really know what to expect. So I looked [00:49:00] up, like, Facebook. Went to Facebook support groups. I was like, "Okay, you know, there's gotta be adults with this disease. How are they doing? What's going on?" And I'll be honest, like when I, when I read those posts on the Facebook support group, almost all of them were pretty bleak. They were like, have Stargardt's disease. This is how this disease has ruined my life. These were my goals and dreams, and this is how I cannot achieve them now because of Stargardt's." And, you know, I would say luckily for me, as I've said many times, I, I'm, I'm overconfident. And I was like, "Okay, well, I can be the person who in 15 years from now can post on this group and say, 'These are my hopes and dreams, and this is...'
You know? 'And I did it, and this, and these are the things I, I chased and did.'"
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah
Graham Rainsby: and you know, obviously, I think back then, when you're 12, you have a bit of a, you see the world in black and white. Um, [00:50:00] now I understand, like why people posted that, right? I'm sure they were feeling defeated, and they wanted to be supported by similar people in their own shoes. But part of the reason why I'm posting on Instagram is, is to tell a story of, of what it's like to be legally blind and still chasing excellence. Um, I might not get there, but, you know, to, to never change the expectations that you hold yourself to, regardless of what's happening. think that's been really helpful for me to, like, to try to just to, yeah, I mean, don't change your expectations.
There might be
Matthew Reeves (2): I
Graham Rainsby: It might be, might get harder. But you, once you kind of give in to the, "Oh, well, I can't do that because of this," which is, I'm not trying to downplay that. That's real. But once you allow yourself to kind of negotiate your dreams or your goals, it's a [00:51:00] slippery slope
Matthew Reeves (2): You know, you, you talked about, I mean, that, that's a story of really recognizing how the value is in the pursuit. It's not in the destination. It's in how we run the race. And you told the story of literally being on a track team or a cross-country team and not knowing where the finish line was. It really was, even back then, about the, the path towards it and, and how, and the technique and how you run it, um, far more, far more than, than when you actually cross some finish line.
And in life, there is no finish line until the ultimate finish line. But yeah, we're, we're just, it's all about how we run and how we pursue and, and who we are as we do it, and I think that's, that's, uh, that's really cool how your, um, sort of philosophy is mirrored in the practical realities of your early athletic experience.
That's really, that's, that's a neat [00:52:00] symmetr- neat symmetry
Graham Rainsby: That's a good, that's a good phrasing. I like that.
Matthew Reeves (2): So, well, best of luck in your pursuits. Uh,
Graham Rainsby: Yeah
Matthew Reeves (2): hoping that in 2028 I can turn on the TV and, and watch you swim. That'd be really cool.
Graham Rainsby: Me too. Me too, Matthew. Yeah.
Matthew Reeves (2): Yeah. Well, best of luck. Yeah, uh, thank you for your contribution to the community and your Inst- in Instagram and just in, in how you're living your life, uh, and, and for showing up today.
Thank you. Thank you so much
Graham Rainsby: Yeah. Thanks, man.
RECAP
Matthew Reeves: That was Graham Rainsby, who went from a Stargardt disease diagnosis at 11 to team captain in college to a rising Paralympic swimming hopeful with barely two years in the pool.
Graham walked us through the whiplash of losing most of his vision within a single year, and the confidence bordering on stubbornness that carried him through school, competitive running, and [00:53:00] now an entirely new sport. He reminded us that fairness was never guaranteed, but how we respond to what we're given is always our choice.
He was also refreshingly honest about the part he's still working on, asking for the support he actually needs. If you wanna follow his pursuit of a spot on Team USA, find him on Instagram @blindconfidences. That's confidence with an S on the end, plural
Matthew Reeves: Thanks for joining us for this episode of Insight Out. You are the reason this podcast exists and we'd love to hear from you. You can leave us a voice message at speakpipe.com/insightoutpod. That's speakpipe.com/insightoutpod. There, you can share your thoughts about today's conversation, suggest a topic for a [00:54:00] future episode, or tell us about your experience living with vision loss. Again, that's speakpipe.com/insightoutpod.
Insight Out is produced by Integral Mental Health Services, my private practice that offers psychotherapy for adults in Georgia and disability adjustment and chronic illness counseling nationwide. Visit us at integralmhs.com and you can visit insightoutpod.com to catch up on all the episodes and to find links for subscribing in all the major podcast apps. A video version of this podcast is available on YouTube. Search for the channel, using the handle @inSightOutPod. You can also find us on social media using that same handle. I hope you'll join us for the next episode of inSight Out. Subscribe now in your favorite podcast app to stay connected. Thanks again for listening. [00:55:00]